mystery

October 22, 2022

It’s An Unlevelling Mystery

There are some mysteries of the universe that I will never figure out. Some of them will probably never be sorted by anyone during my lifetime. For the most part, I’m okay with this. However, the one thing I wish I could sort out is why my three-wick candles never burn evenly.

These candles are only used indoors, away from all drafts and breezes. They are used in my studio with no overhead vents and not near the wall venting. The glass containers of the candles are higher than the wax and the flames.

Yet somehow, despite all of this, the candles never burn evenly. The table they sit on is level (I know because I’ve used a level to check.) The wicks are all the same height, placed evenly in the center of the candle, or at least from what I can tell them. And still, each candle I’ve used in the studio ends uneven once the melted wax hardens.

Beloved has even checked that the table and the floor are levels. He’s put small pieces of light paper around the room to see if any of it moves with a draft. Nothing has changed, but the candles always end up uneven after a burning session.

August 18, 2022

Jumping Plants

My aloe vera plant had enough of living in the pot, at least that’s what I told myself as I picked up the plant and surveyed the mess. If I didn’t know any better, I’d have told you that the plant jumped over the lip of the pot to the carpet below. But plants don’t jump; even I know that.

The logical explanation is that the plant had grown too big for its pot and started leaning over the side. Eventually, the aloe vera got too heavy and just sort of tumbled over the pot and to the floor below.

I observed that the plant had all its roots with it; I also wondered if the plant was telling me it was too dry. So a new pot and more water were both in order.

While I was at the local garden center, someone asked me if I needed any help. So, of course, I said yes and shared my story of the potential pot jumping aloe vera plant.

After a good chuckle, the lady told me I was correct in the pot being too small, and the soil was dry. But she also suggested that I should plant the plant in the middle of the pot rather than off to the side.

July 19, 2022

Coffee Time

Why is it that when you need something, it seems to take forever for that item to arrive? For example, this morning, I was in great need of a coffee. The coffee I needed was specific, hot and strong—the kind of coffee you drink to shake off the remnants of the night before.

Now before you go getting any wild ideas about the night before, I better set things straight. It was not a long night full of adult beverages any more than it was a night of being out all hours. It was a night that creeps up on you when you are older. You know, the kind where all sorts of things run through your head, and you can’t exactly stop them from popping up.

So there I am, waiting for my coffee to brew. But unfortunately, the machine seems to have developed a delayed response because I am waiting for it instead of being occupied with something else simultaneously. And the more I need the coffee, the slower it seems to take.

The good news about all the slowness is that I didn’t have to go anywhere this morning, so no matter how long it took for the coffee to brew, I wouldn’t be late getting anywhere.

June 10, 2022

Who Knows

There’s something different about magpies. First, they seem to be fairly solitary birds; you see one or maybe two spaced apart. And then suddenly, there’s a whole flock of them in your trees, scaring the other birds away while they chatter up a storm.

If a magpie should be dying, the flock will gather around it; they will mourn the loss or at the very least hold a very noisy bird-style wake for the animal before they take off again.

The four-footed one is not a fan of the magpies. I don’t know if it has to do with the noise they make or how they try to steal her bones away from her, but she strongly dislikes them. If she sees one walking on the ground, she will bark and give chase.

I have no clue what she would do if she caught one, other than probably pounce on the bird. The four-footed one loves to pounce on her “prey,” if you will. Perhaps it is hardwired into her, given that her heritage is to be a dog that goes after rodents.

Hopefully, I will never know what she will do with a magpie. Hopefully, she will stay on the ground, and the birds will always be able to get away from her.

May 16, 2022

Energy Consumption

If someone told teenage me that there would be days that I’d have no energy after having a morning shower in my twenties and thirties, I’d have laughed at you. There is no way even to comprehend how a simple shower could result in that type of exhaustion. But, maybe, it is true that it is impossible to comprehend at any age unless you live with it.

It isn’t as if my showers are feats of energy or require me to do a whole bunch. Somehow from getting myself out of bed and getting myself into the shower, having the shower and drying off, I deplete my energy sources. And you’d think, with that kind of energy consumption, you would be able to build up reserves again quickly. However, lupus doesn’t work that way.

Lupus may let you deplete your energy quickly, and over some routine tasks, people take for granted, but it rarely lets you recover your energy as quickly as it is consumed. It is one of those mysteries that seems to be a part of lupus. Something that no one can explain may not be understood all that well, but nevertheless exists in the life of a lupus warrior.

September 5, 2021

The Man, The Chap

If you asked me what kind of man I had wanted for a lover, I probably would have said someone intelligent, caring, and strong. I’d wish for a man’s man, be that in the fashion of Clint Eastwood or the Marlboro man.

I’ve had my share of lovers, some more in keeping with that image, some in keeping with the bad boy image, and still others who looked like the businessmen they were.

Beloved isn’t precisely the Marlboro man; he can’t even ride a horse. Instead, he will use logic and intelligence to get out of a bind any time over brawn. He does have a black leather jacket, but not one that screams out rebel. He has suits and ties and dress shirts and shoes with tassels. But he never looks ultimately at ease in them.

He is most comfortable in jeans and a casual shirt. However, he is in his element when he is debating or teaching. He is most romantic when he recites poetry or gives voice to the ideas in his mind.

He is nothing like I would have ever thought I wanted and yet is everything and so much more. He doesn’t even know he’s these things.

August 12, 2021

Literally In The Cards

Beloved has a friend who tends to take things very literally. He’s a sweet man and very curious. The other day he decided to go and get his cards read by a specific tarot reader.

As the reader had him select the cards, she laid out the pattern and then read the cards, sharing her understanding with him as she went along.

One of the things she told him is that the judgment card advised her that he may not be living the life he was meant to live. But, instead, he was living a life someone else suggested he should live. She told him that as uncertain as things may seem, he was building a solid and new foundation for his future.

As the reading went on, she told him that the path he was on was complex, but the Wheel of Fortune assured her that there were opportunities within the complexity if he looked for it.

She delighted in finding the Fool in his future as it meant that he could find success if he were willing to try new methods. He would have adventures and create opportunities for himself if need be.

But also in this reading was the card of Death. In its position, it warned that something he should have given freely and didn’t would now be taken from him forcefully.

As a result of these messages, he told us that he is currently reviewing everything in his life, trying to change the fortune to something possible and seeing what he withheld that he shouldn’t have.

He held onto hope, though because the Queen of Swords appeared for his final outcome, which the reader told him, meant that his strong spirit would allow him to triumph over loss and deprivation. The reader assured him he’d have a good outcome overall. It was just he had to deal with some unpleasantness first.

January 16, 2021

Who Went Through

The shriek of protesting hinges and creaky wooden slats disturbed the peace that had descended in our area. It had been so still you could hear your heart beating. Even the four-footed one had been silent, relaxing in the peacefulness of the dark night.

However, the opening of the gate broke the peacefulness. No matter how hard the velvet night tried to keep things soft, and still, it was impossible. Peace had been broken.

Shortly after the noise, we heard the scuff of feet on the gravel path. The four-footed one tensed up, ready to do whatever she felt she needed to do.

The scuffing grew distant, meaning they were walking away from us, and the four-footed one dropped some of her attention. I was more alert. I was curious who had opened that gate, who had wandered somewhere into the dark.

We couldn’t go back to the house either, not until we knew if the person was coming back. So I settled into the chair, the four-footed one resumed sniffing the perimeter, and we waited. We waited as the sky changed from dark, deep purple velvet to an inky blank.

The scuffing never came back. The gate never protested, and the sun rose for the start of a new day.

November 29, 2020

Of Flickering Candles

The flickering of the candlelight cast odd shadows against the wall. They seem to say, ‘now you see me, now you don’t’. They weren’t scary shadows or cause for concern. They were just unusual.

We hardly ever have the candles lit when there’s a draft in the room. The intense flickering of the candles provided there was a draft. It was one Beloved hadn’t found the source to yet.

Beloved decided despite the draft, he needed to light the candles.

He’s like that sometimes, Beloved. He will decide he needs something to calm himself or provide inspiration. He will sit there, letting the candles burn themselves out, the fading light being the only indication that wax and wicks were about finished.

He doesn’t worry about the shadows. He doesn’t pay them any mind. When the candles are lit, if the mood is right, he is lost to another time, another set of thoughts, and nothing can touch that.

So I watch the shadows, watch the flames dance, and enjoy the silence I share with him.

October 3, 2020

Their Time

One of my favorite things to do here is to sit on the patio with a book, a cup of coffee, and just enjoy my surroundings. I’ve done this for a while, taking an hour here or there throughout the day to sit and enjoy myself.

It seems that time is now coming to an end. No, we aren’t moving. Yes, I still have access to coffee and books. Yes, the patio is the same, so the surroundings haven’t changed. But invaders came in the night and changed everything for me.

You see, today, when I went outside with my coffee and book, things were different. I sat down, placed my cup on the table, opened up my book, and realized that the four-footed one had headed back to the door. She wanted in the house, which is odd for her. I got up, let her in, and when I came back, I decided to pick up my coffee.

Thank goodness I looked before taking a drink because there were two large wasps already enjoying my brew. More wasps, which I had overlooked earlier, were crawling up from the underside of the table.

I’m sure wasps are lovely in their own way, but I’m not a fan of them. And when they are in large groups, I have a strong dislike for them. As I did a fast walk to the house, my neighbor stopped me to ask what was wrong. I told him we had wasps, lots of them.

He came into the yard and said, “it’s their time.” That was it. As if this statement explained everything. It turns out, each year around this time or a week earlier or later, large swarms of wasps pop by for a feeding, a rest, and who knows what else before they fly off to parts unknown.