They Did It Again

Play music they said. It will help you concentrate they promised. It’s great for recall they raved. Folks, they lied. They lied about it helping me concentrate on the material I was writing, unless I was supposed to be writing about the music, which I wasn’t. It did not help me recall facts or dates either, just songs I had heard.

Whoever this they are, this all-knowing authority clearly does not know everything. Or they have decided to advise me down the wrong path. On purpose. Except I do not get to provide my students with the lyrics to the song I was listening to rather than the facts or dates. I promise the final exam will not reflect my musical tastes, nor will there be any questions about specific lyrics. I don’t teach Lit, otherwise I might have been able to make that work.

So if you need to know the words to Blame It On Me, I might be able to help you, but if you need specific dates about when certain documents were discovered, you better look elsewhere. At least for now, until the little trick that they suggested I use empties out of my head. It shouldn’t take too long, just until the song becomes annoying or what have you.

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Secret World or Secret Socities

Fancy handshake? Check. Unusual clothing or adornment? Double check. Secret location? Check, check and check. Plans for building an empire or taking over something? Check. The beginning of a secret society meeting? Sure, if meeting under the table is a clandestine location and wearing a blanket over your shoulder counts as unusual clothing. Empire building? Well let’s just start off with a few building blocks and see how that goes before we build a whole empire. (Blocks can be a bit tricky don’t you know.)

The secret society? The Masterful Moppets, aka toddlers. Yes toddler. Have you ever known a more secret, odd group of beings? Their only downfall on the whole secret side of things is that they like to share, sometimes over share, what they are doing, have done, or learnt. But hey we all have to have our faults. Other than that, to me the world of the Masterful Moppets is a complete mystery with strange rituals (rubbing one’s thumb over one’s favorite blanket repeatedly), odd language and symbols and let us not forget a magical force or entity they believe will bring them/give them anything they desire.

This magical force seems to respond to tears, wails and cuteness. Not necessarily in that order though. The magical force or entity? Sometimes known as mama or dada, perhaps mommy or daddy. It matters now so long as the force responds to their manipulations, and if not, surely they can wear this entity down into giving in. Or at least try for the motto of the Masterful Moppets is try, cry, and nap.

To Live

There are certain things required to live: air, water, food, shelter of some sort and so on. That’s at the very base level, but let’s be honest, we each have other requirements we need in our lives in order to live. For me it’s coffee, access to news, the ‘net and books. Oh and education, access to education.

For Beloved his list includes tea, comfy cardigan (don’t ask), buttercream, books, poetry and music. He swears he will shrivel up and die if he doesn’t have these things. How do I know? Because recently he misplaced his believed cardigan. And I was tasked with finding it upon pain of death or something of that sort.

At some point in life I have become the keeper of all things he has misplaced, including his ragged and well-worn cardigan. Because of course someone must keep track of these things. But asking me, the girl who continually loses one sock between the washer and the dryer may not be the smartest thing to do.

Now in all fairness he did spend half of today looking for said cardigan before demanding I assist in operation “cardy location”. I looked in all the typical places one might expect to find it with no luck. I looked under chairs and behind furniture. I pulled out cushions and drawers all to no avail. It was nowhere to be found.

And as is always the case in a good story, when all hope is lost, or so it looks, a hero comes along with exactly what is needed. In this case the hero has four legs, a waggy tail and some serious doggy breath. While I was sitting on the floor putting drawers back in the bureau, she came over to see what was going on, dragging the missing item with her. From the looks of it, she had probably carried it off to one of her dog beds and used it for cushion, but that’s just speculation on my part.

At any rate she saved the day, or rather Beloved’s life because life without his comfortable cardigan is not a life worth living apparently.

The Fright Long After Halloween

Beloved can be, well, unusual at times.  In fairness we all can.  So when he came into the house and declared someone was going through our trash I just kind of shrugged my shoulders. It isn’t like we have exciting trash.  Mostly just food stuffs and dirty paper napkins.  The odd wrapper and lots of dog poop.

We tie out dog poop up in little baggies once we pick up after her.  Which is right after she’s decided to do the deed.  So I mean honestly if someone were to go through our rubbish, have at it.  But to Beloved this isn’t good enough.  First he wanted hard proof someone was going through the rubbish bins and secondly he would want to know want they were looking for.

Beloved being Beloved, he set up a covert camera and trained it on the trash cans.  Within a few days he had his proof, there were two individuals going through the bins.  They were not successful in finding whatever it is they wanted to find as they walked away empty-handed.  And while they did go through the trash, they sort of tidied it up when they were done.

Still I was unnerved that someone felt s need or desire to go through my trash so we called local law enforcement and shared the footage with them.  And that’s why we now have law enforcement do random checks throughout the day.  It’s also  why Beloved has someone with him at work now too.  Just until we know what’s going on,  because free speech and the right to associate with who you wish is never really free.  People will try to exact a cost, such as a career or a life if need be.

Sleeping Dogs Indeed

While in the kitchen I dropped a slice of banana on the floor.  The four-footed one was faster g thing to the dropped fruit than I was.  She happily consumed the fallen slice and waited for more.

Large, hopeful eyes followed my every move as I sliced strawberries and a pear.  With no more items falling, probably her version of mana from heaven, she wandered off to flop on her current favorite spot on the floor.  She looked as if she was asleep by the time I brought my bow, of fruit to the table.

Looks can be deceiving. This I already knew, but she decided to remind me of  this anyway.  The phone rang and I got up to get it.  By the time I came back the four-footed one was in my bowl of fruit.  Eating out of it.  Not even using the spoon!

So much for leaving sleeping dogs where they are!  Because not all sleeping dogs are actually sleeping.  And some have apparently learned how to climb onto the kitchen chair in order to reach the food on the table.

And those eyes that were so large and hopeful earlier didn’t even hold the tiniest bit of shame.  Just love and a knowing look that she had gotten one up on me.  And my fruit.

Don’t Forgot To Include Me

The four-footed one does not like to be left out of anything happening in the house. If you are in a room, she must be there, immediately. We had to train her to NOT go into the bathroom with us. And given her curiosity she was very interested as to what was happening in that room. Right down to wanting to see what a person was doing while sitting on that odd chair.

I’m pretty sure if not for such strong food reinforcements she would still be trying to figure out what is going on in that room today. Which may have helped reinforce her need to be in the kitchen whenever a sound comes from that room. You open a door and she is right there. Pull off a place of food wrap? Yep you better believe she has to be right next to you. Because hello, there is food!

She’s an awesome companion when it comes to doing laundry as she likes to sort the clothes by dragging them across the floor or curling up on them. Before they are cleaned. Don’t worry though, cleaned clothes are not safe from her either. She has been known to help pull freshly laundered items out of the dryer to drag across the floor.

Today I had some parcels arriving, so I put her in my bedroom with the door closed while I dealt with the delivery. She was not happy about this. Not one bit. She protested, she barked and she whined. When I moved the boxes into another room to open them up in peace, she pushed her way in and then attempted to climb up so she could look in the boxes. Evidently I wasn’t going fast enough for her standards as she tried to get a paw in the box and help dig the items out.

So the question is, why is it okay for her to be a part of everything that goes on in the house, except when she wants to be left to her own devices? Why is it okay for her to bar people from her safe spot?

For The Birds

The four-footed one decided she could fly today. I’m not sure what possessed her to think she could fly, but she gave it the old college try. Of course she couldn’t sustain her air time, but hey it’s the thought that counts right?

Don’t worry, she is fine. When she jumped off the chair she didn’t have far to land. You could see her trying to figure out a way to maintain her air time, she tried doing the doggie paddle of sorts in the air and then it dawned on her, she was going down, not up nor staying at the same level she started with. So she just hung on for the fall.

She got up and walked away as nonchalantly as she could. She had witnesses, so it was hard for her to walk away with her dignity fully intact. But she tried. And no she wasn’t injured at all, other than her pride I suspect.

It does make me wonder what goes on in her head. What is she thinking when she gives me that look, or when she cocks her head off to one side? Is she planning how to get more food or perhaps how to take over the house (technically she did that the day she came home)? Perhaps she is plotting on how to get dogs to rule the world. And then again, maybe she just wanted to give something new a try.