It’s In The Name

If you name it, you can’t eat it because the animal ceases to be livestock and instead becomes a pet.  That as a hard fast rule I learned growing up.  To this day, if I bestow a name on sn animal I will not eat it!  Okay so I don’t eat dog or cat or newt so those were never up for the consideration of livestock.  But still.  I mean I’ve  held true to that rule all along! 😊😉

once you name something you are on different terms with that thing.  You perspective of it changes, which alters your behavior and attitudes towards said thing.  Once you name it, there is a personal connection, a link that has been made.

the same theory holds true, at least for me, when it comes to medical diagnosis.  Once you have a name for that which ails you, part of the struggle is over.  You know it’s “real”.  Sure it was always real to you, but now it’s been verified by the experts so to speak.

with that verification comes plans if attack, medicines and such.  There is a path that can be followed to some degree.  The foe can no longer hide behind complete invisibility for it has been found out, its ways somewhat known.

Ah the relief at knowing what type are up against, even if it’s something scary or horrible.  Knowledge is after all a bit of power and this helps move you from vulnerable the to slightly less vulnerable.  Decisions can be made, choices and options can be explored. A proper fight can begin because you and your medical tea, have a plan of attack and have some training in place.

when you can’t name it, when you have a broad category of “unwell” or “something is wrong”  the link is different.  The proof eludes you and you are fling with ghosts who don’t fight fair.

so next time when you think a diagnosis is horrible, realize the power of naming it.  Realize there is strength in just knowing what you have because behind that are attack plans and treatment courses and above all else proof that it is there and not a ghost.

Seeing Pictures

While going through some old boxes, I came across a stack of photos.  Most were black and white, a few were in sepia.  All of them featured people from another time and place.  Fascinated I lost track of time as I tried to sort out who these people were.

There was my maternal grandmother, looking self-confident and beautiful while she clung to the hand of an older man, tall and thin.  The woman I knew as my grandmother was nothing like this spitfire of a girl in the picture.  She had a look to her that said she knew what she wanted and she was going after it.  That tall, thin man she held hands with?  Her father, my great-grandfather.  He looked very serious and stiff in the picture.

Here is my maternal grandmother with her parents, both serious and dressed in dark clothing.  My grand mother is sitting on her father’s lap while her mother is flanked on either side by two older girls, and an infant rests in her arms.  Those older girls?  My grandmother’s sisters and the infant, her only brother.

There are photos of old houses, bikes, and smiling faces.  This, then, is the box of photos my mother hauled from place to place and hardly ever looked at.  She just needed to know they were there, as if by being able to touch the, she was able to connect again with her past.

The only photos that exist of my maternal grandfather are from his wedding day forward.  His family didn’t have time or money for photos.   It was only at the insistence of my grandmother that he ever had his picture taken.

In these wedding photos he looks impossibly young and full of hope, humor and mischief.  I have memories of him being a soft-spoken, quiet man.  When he was up for it, he’d have a wicked sense of humor, but he’d seen too much and been through too much by the time I was around.  Most he sat and kept to himself, smiling at some silliness I was caught up in.

My father never felt the need to have photos or sentimental items to keep in contact with his history.  He had exactly one picture of his mother, my paternal grandmother, when she was in her mid-teenage years.  And he had a copy of his parents’ wedding photo and was it.  His father was orphaned at an early age, living a had scrabble life in many ways.  My paternal grandfather had no time for frivolous items when he was young.  He was focused on becoming someone and not being dependent upon anyone for anything.

I have kept these photos and other’s because they are a link to so much that otherwise I wouldn’t know.  I dont see them as tying me to a place or people so much as creating a link that helps show where some of my habits and characteristics stem from.  And I keep them because. Am curious about the people and places, the lives lived and ended.

Truthfully most old pictures do that for me.  They ask me to consider the people and wonder what their lives were like.  Puzzle over the reason for some of these pictures and learn a bit about them.  I guess in a way it keeps them alive or in this world.

Time Flying Past

Time really does fly!  I know because in as it happen, saw it with my own two eyes! 😉

When I was young it seems the time crawled ever so slow.  Days were longer back that I’m sure!  My parents may have even felt that way when I ws too young to comprehend time! 😊

Now I can’t say when or how it happened, but at some point time became real.  It stopped dragging its heels and got on being real, as in real time.  This means sometimes time almost drags slowly to the points me waiting on sand other times its gone in the blink of an eye.

I’ve been told that soon enough time will start to go past on a skateboard and then an ports car and then a rocket.  It will fly by and I won’t even notice any more.

But today I saw time fly by.  I felt it too!  You see I was on a ladder, doing some work om the curtains.  The wall became jealous and decided to act out.  It sent the clock flying, hitting me on the way down to the floor.  And I saw time fly.  Let me tell you, it’s too fast to see the numbers and if it hits you it hurts.  Now I need to make it stand still….just a so I can kick it!

Magnetic Attraction

I must have some type of magnet, not one for money or such.  Nope my magnet is geared towards something different.  Something that frankly I would rather not have attracted to me or my general vicinity.

Exhibit A:  may I present to you that I was recently in a movie theatre, the first person in it mind you, where no more than 10 people total ended up in it and the last person in sat directly in front of me.  This person was over 6 feet tall.  I am well under 6 feet tall.  He could have sat anywhere, but he has to sit in front of me.  Lots of empty seats and this is where he sits!

If only this was the first time or the only time it happened to me, I wouldn’t use it as an exhibit.  Unfortunately I seem to attract tall people to go in front of me and block my view.

Exhibit B:  I present to you, in a hurry yesterday, I had to stop and pick up a bottle of milk on my way home.  One item, so no big deal.  There are two checkout aisles open, I naturally chose the one with one person in front of me.  She has three items,  easy, I will stay on time.  Until she digs into the massive bags that is her purse to search for a coupon she is sure is in there, somewhere.  Foot tapping ensues on my part, but she doesn’t care.  Of course I end up having t move to the other cashier to get out in decent time.  But I’m late.  Why?  Because any time I’m in a hurry I attract people I refer to as tortoises.  They are there to slow me down and nothing I can do makes them move any faster.

Exhibit C:  I give you the space-invaders!  No, not the old Atari game! 😉 I’m talking about those people who get in your space.  Especially when all I want to do is have my own time and space.  I attract people who don’t worry about personal space, who don’t understand that there is a limit to be maintained.

Why can’t I attract, the winning lottery numbers?  Or a leprechaun?  Sure, it’s true I am blessed with lovely friends.  It’s just the things/people attracted to my space is not always wanted.  I’m sure it’s needed, to teach me a lesson, but still I can’t always see it that way.

Perfection Falls Through

I’ve  a person in my life who will make amazing plans and then have something come up that gets in the way of those plans just about every time.

I understand that schedule changes, life happens, and things come up last minutes some times.  But I don’t understand it happening every time.

Some times this person will say that s/he is going to call at a certain time and then when that times comes around the call doesn’t happen.  Other times this person will say s/he is going to meet me somewhere and then changes the location or the time.  Now and then s/he will stand me up.

I wouldn’t mind if it didn’t happen more times than not. There are times ive had to cancel due to health issues or something coming up last-minute so I really do understand when it happens now and then.

At first when this started happening on a regular basis, I was frustrated and hurt.  It took me some time and struggles to reach the point  where I just go about my business now and if what s/he plans comes to fruition that’s lively, and if not it isn’t a huge deal.  It’s just the way this person is and I either accept the person as a whole or not at all.  And I surely am far from perfect so I hope I am accepted as I am.


They Said…

Sit on the ball, they said.  It feels good, they said.  It helps with back pain, posture and overall well-being they said.

so I sat on a massive ball instead of a chair like everyone else.  No one said it was going to be fun!  Hey why not?  You can roll around on this thing, bounce it up and down.😊  They were right, the ball is awesome, because it is fun, not because of all the other stuff!

no one said that the ball would have a mind of its own, roll away and try to buck me off.  Bad ball!  😡

Of course no one mentioned the pin, you know a little something you can put in the ball and let out some of the air.  If you do that it doesn’t try to kill you, but it’s also not as much fun.

They also never said that a pin directly in then all, making a hole is a bad, bad thing!

why is that?  Why are most of the fun things dangerous or not as safe as less fun things? This seems somehow unfair and wrong!

Waterfalls and Falling Whims

Sometimes you need to see the backside of a waterfall.  Sometimes someone thinks you need to see the backside of a waterfall.  And sometimes, well it just doesn’t matter!

On one of my many excursions somewhere part of a trip included seeing the backside of a waterfall.  Because as you know the backside of anything is different from the front of that object.  The waterfall in question happened to tumble over a carved in area of a lake making it possible to bring the boat around to the back side as you came out to the other side  without going through the water fall.  This, I was told, was pure magic.

I’m sure at some point it was magical to people.  But between you and myself, there was n different from the fronts of the back of the waterfall.  None.  No magic, no mystery, just the sound of loud rushing water.

Had I encountered the backside of a waterfall when I was young, I’m sure it would haven even a magical time, mystical even.  Why?  Because there was a time when things like that caught my fancy and set my mind down the road of curiosity.

There was a time when I not only bought into this world of Magic, but also lake monsters, closet monsters and things that go bump in the night.  Part of me wishes I could hang into that magic, see the wonders to the back  of a waterfall and know there is so many more wonders in the world than science can surely attempt to grasp.