Sluggishly

What right does one have to take another’s life?  Some would say it is justified if your life is in danger and it becomes the only way for you to survive.  Others say that if you are protecting yourself or loved ones from another who is intent on killing you, then it is justified to take a life.

There are a few people out there who no doubt wake up and plot murders.  I tend not to start my day in such a manner.  As a matter of fact I’ve yet to wake up with murder first and foremost on my mind.  And no, I did not spend my morning coffee lingering over ways to torture or kill a being.

It seems for me murder comes in the moment.  Not that I’ve killed a human, for I haven’t.  But today while the four-footed one was surveying the garden she made a discovery.  The discovery of slugs.  A whole menacing gang of them.

I’m sure they are innocent creatures, just hanging out in small gangs doing whatever it is ey do.  Maybe they were stunting and leaving their trails as proof of their daring feat.  I’m not really sure.  Regardless I’m not a fan of slugs.

The four-footed one, however is a fan.  She tries to sample them, which is not ideal.  And so I had to commit murder because I’m no good at relocation programs.  It wasn’t a quick or painless death I’m sure.  I can’t imagine someone tossing salt on me and throwing plastic cups over my suffering body so I can cook in the heat to be pain-free.  I didn’t plan to be this cruel, it just kind of happened.  Because I didn’t know what to do once I covered them up with salt.  So I protected their bodies with the plastic cups until Beloved could deal with them.  Which is when he pointed out I basically cooked them in those cups.

So no, I didn’t plan to commit murder, it came about rather sluggishly.

Advertisements

The Hunt Is On

Some people have Easter Egg Hunts in their backyards.  At Easter time. But that’s not how it works at my house.

It isn’t that I planned to have, or not have, any type of hunt in my backyard.  It just sort of happened today.  The four-footed one was the one doing all the hunting.  For peanuts.  Which were hidden by the magpies and crows.  Except I don’t think the birds actually meant to hide anything, rather I think the peanuts were inadvertently dropped by the birds.

And my job?  Well my job was to get the peanuts away from the four-footed one before she ate them.  None of this however was what I had planned to do today.  Of course none of that matters to ether the four-footed or the birds.  And so my plans suddenly included a half hour adventure of hunting for dropped peanuts in our lawn.

After that, well it was a bit of rushing around to get back on schedule, but at least I managed to get extra steps in today!  And yes, it goes to show that our house is a bit unconventional, but that’s okay.  We like it this way!

In A Million Years, I Wouldn’t Trade It

I never, in a million years, thought I’d consider spending a chilly, windy day filled with sunshine spent on a patio as a day well sent.  Of course there was also a time when I never thought I’d be this old.  Of course I also never considered I would be chronically ill or having to chase new dreams.

And yet today I spent sitting on a lovely patio, surrounded by beautiful red flowers, the four-footed one on my lap with a delicious coffee in my hand.  Beloved sat across from me, each of us with books to read when the feeling moved us.  The four-footed one was content to rest on my lap, shielded from the wind.  It was because of her that we were sitting outside rather than inside to begin with.

There was a time when I would have said I wasting my time, sitting there with a book and the dog.  That was before I learned to enjoy the simple things and to not need to fill every waking moment with an activity.  Part of this comes from maturing (okay I’ve not matured that much that I’m unable to giggle at double entendres), part of this comes from the four-footed one and part of this comes from lupus.

While I have strong feelings about lupus and can tick off many negative things it’s brought to my life, I can also find the blessings it has brought me.  Such as just sitting and reading can be a wonderful experience.  Enjoying the simple, mundane things is not boring, but extremely pleasurable.  Especially when you are spending time with people you care about.  So sure I never thought I’d enjoy spending my time this way,  it that’s because I never tried it before.

Around The Lake

The faint smell of wood smoke rode in on the slight breeze.  Had the breeze been any stronger I’m not certain we’d be walking down this path.  It would have been too cold be far to enjoy the walk.

As t was the our four-footed companion seemed to have the entire area to herself.  At least as far as other dogs were concerned.  She did encounter a few ducks just sitting on the water near where a feeding station was set up.  The Ducks were either too relaxed or too cold to care when she approached their feed.  There were squirrels and birds n the trees, but they stayed out of our reach.  Towards the far side of the water a pair of swans were gliding together.

It was as if the chill in the air managed to slow down the animals, none of them seemed to mind e four-footed one’s rushing too and fro.  The ignored the crashing and thudding of Beloved’s feet as she pulled him along.  I limped along slowly behind them, my joints stiff and sore.  I wondered which of the two of them would be more muddy, and did we bring enough towels.  But then I stopped caring and just focused on one foot in front of the other as I walked with lupus.

Beloved and the four-footed one did the loop around the lake twice before I had even finished half way around.  Beloved’s shoes were a bit muddy, but his cheeks had a red glow and the smile that covered his face said everything was good in their world.

We finished the way around, me still going slow and steady, Beloved and the four-footed one content now that they had explored the areas and found what needed finding. Initially we had planned to let her spend as long as she wanted at the water, but my slowness and the cold made us change our minds.  She had managed two and a half good loops and would probably rest on the drive home.

Beloved set the car up, grabbed a blanket for me and off we went.  His chilled hands gripped the steering wheel while I had the blanket across my sore legs, the dog resting on top of the blanket.  We’d stop for some apples before we made it home, but only Beloved would get out of the car.  And at home, I already knew that the four-footed one and I would slowly make it up the stairs to rest on the bed while Beloved found himself some food.

I had hoped that walking with lupus would make me feel better, or at least move lupus to the back seat, but it gave lupus energy it seems.  And so now I rest.  Just as the four-footed one rests from al her rushing about.

Slogging Through The Mud

There are days when even the simplest of things seem like rocket science to me.  I’ve never studied rocket science, not so much because it  seemed to challengingly. Although I admit it is not something that would come naturally to me.  My mind doesn’t gravitate towards numbers as much as it does words.

Anyhow, now that this is out in the open, back to our regularly scheduled discussion.  Okay a monologue because really it’s only me talking here unless you leave a comment.  But again I digress.

One of the added benefits that can come with lupus is someone called brain fog.  It’s a nice way and a somewhat easy explanation of how lupus can affect the mind.  I’m not talking about an attack to the organ itself in the same sense as it does my kidneys.  Instead what it does in the case of brain fog is it makes it hard to process thoughts or recall things.

To paint the picture for you, imagine that you have to do everything while working through thick, sticky mud.  It slows you down.  It makes carrying out tasks harder than they normally would be.  And it can hide things that you once could easily see.  Drop something in that mud and you might have a very hard time finding it again.

Today was one of those days.  It meant that the stir fry I meant to make became something I cannot describe.  Tender crisp veggies became soggy, over seasoned veggies.  I cannot explain how the rice became sticky, but it did.  Thankfully Beloved is game for any adventure and so he bravely tried the food before proclaiming it edible.  He also suggested next time I find myself deep in the mud, I just leave the food to someone else, either him or take out!

Advanced Warnings And Whether To Heed Or Not To Heed

We got caught in squall today, the four-footed one and I.  The most update weather person was unable to warn us about a sudden storm from out of nowhere and thus when the dark clouds suddenly formed we weren’t prepared.  We weren’t prepared for the cool wind that whipped this squall into our lives.  We had no idea how long or hard the downpour would be, nor how cold it was.

We were soaked through and brought, the two of us as we made our way back home.  And cold.  The four-footed one was shivering so I dried her off and got myself sorted out in quick order.

We spent the next few hours cuddled up with a light blanket to stay warm.  The four-footed one cuddled up and fell asleep warm against my body.  I tried to ignore the increased aching in my joints and instead focus on resting.  Alas the ache was to great, but the soft warm body to cute to disturb and so I just stayed where I was and reminded myself that nothing is without give and take.  And not everything will provide us with ample warning.  I also reminded myself even with ample warning I might still have not been prepared for the squall.

Sure ive had increased pain, but I’m not always able to pinpoint the reason for the increased pain.  That’s right, even after all these years of dancing with lupus, I still stumble with a misstep.  I still misread the cues now and then.

Collecting Things

I never thought my house would be home to antlers.  I can’t address where these antlers came from in terms of the animals they belonged to before they came into my house.  (I may have missed the day they were teaching this.). But if you don’t care which animal the antler is from, I may have just the one for you.

I have soft ones for puppies and dogs that don’t like to chew on hard things.  I have medium-sized ones and some extra hard ones.  I have ignored antlers, antlers still in their packaging and others that are more than half used already.  I have ones that the four-footed one considers to be her most treasured items, and others that have been discarded like a used tissue.  (A word of warning, if the antler you want is one of her most treasured items you will learn that she likes to chew on this.  Hard things and soft things alike.  The human arm provides her with soft flesh and followed by hard, crunchy bone.  Not that she’s ever bitten me, but I’ve also not been foolish enough to steal her treasured antler.)

And to think, it al started with one small antler she was given as a gift from one of my friends.  Somehow that one antler screamed out to people that I need more of these in my life.  Of course it’s screaming we aren’t consciously aware of.  And now, well now I basically have an assorted collection of antlers.