Expressing Expressions

I innocently asked about this whole “top o’the morning t’ya” statement. Mostly, I was curious as to what the top of the morning really was. I mean does the morning having a top or a bottom? Where is the middle? So you see, I just asked an innocent question.

What ensued was something I could never have imagined in my wildest dreams, or nightmares as the case may be. The lovely person I asked this question to settled down with her cup of tea and went into a long discussion about how it’s really an offering of the best of the morning or day to you.

But what if you are having a crappy day and you know the whole day is going to be less than the best? Is it really ideal to offer someone a lovely sentiment like that when you don’t know what’s going on in their lives etc?

According to Beloved, I am reading too much into a simple, nice greeting. And not because of the greeting itself as much as the fact it took two and half hours to get the full lesson about the expression. And there may be a bit to that, but honestly I have more questions. Such as what if it’s someone you don’t like. Do you still smile and offer them this greeting or do you offer them a bottom of the morning greeting? Is there even such a thing? And what’s wrong with saying good day or something to that nature.


Love And Lupus

I was listening to Beloved reassure one of his sisters that he was perfectly fine with things the way they are.  A little further into the conversation I became aware of the fact that what his sister was concerned about him being in love with someone who has “an unfortunately horribly chronic condition that won’t ever get better”.  

Sure he didn’t set out to love someone with lupus, but I also didn’t set out to have lupus.  Lupus just sort of happened to me the same way we just sort of fell in love with each other.  And just like being in love with someone calls for compromise and adjustments, that’s life with lupus too.  

But it did give me pause, this conversation he was having.  I mean I know he’s giving up a lot to cope with my health ups and downs.  He’s cancelled outings and had to alter travel plans due to my lupus flares.  He has carried me when I’ve overdone things.  He has held my hand at the hospital and read to me when I couldn’t hold my book.  

So I wonder how there is an upside for him in all of this.  But there is…and apparently it just happens to be me.  

How do I know you may wonder.  Because I asked him.  And he told me.  He actually said it was no different than when I was there for him with his health issue.  Except it is.  Because his condition was cured.  Mine is just sort of kept in some form of check or balance.

He also said no one is perfect and lupus is just a minor imperfection in my life.

That Point 

I’ve come to that point in my life where I start to question aches and pains.  Before I’d brush off things, linking them back to activities from earlier in the day.  And then after that I could easily point things to lupus.  But now, now I question things like why do the insides of my forearms feel weak and burning?  Is this a sign of another illness or something else, something spinster and threatening?  

I’m pretty sure this happens when we reach a certain age, but I don’t see it in my friends or Beloved.  Some of them are older than I am and yet they seem to be okay with things.  I don’t hear them question odd aches or pains or strange sensations in their necks and wonder if it’s a heart attack.  Oh no these people aren’t there yet.  But they will be.  And I will be waiting.

Maybe I will tell them it’s nothng, or to go see their doctors.  Perhaps I will suggest they relax.  Or maybe I will kindly point out that they aren’t that old yet.  Not yet.  Of course we may never get that old.  Not because we don’t live long lives, but because we just never see ourselves as that old.  Who knows.

I’d ponder more on this, but I’ve got to google burning pain on my inner knees and twitching  eye.  This could be serious, but I doubt it.

Many Things

There are so many things in life that just sort of happen.  Some of them happen without us really noticing and other happen under our watchful gaze.  And some of those many things are things we dream of, hope for and wish for.  Other times we don’t even recognize these things until long after.

Today th four-footed one tried puppy icecream as it was called.  She throughly enjoyed it.  Well until she suddenky made an odd noise, flopped on her back and started thrashing about.  I picked her up, held her upright and suddenly she coughed up some puppy ice cream.  It was just one of those things.  A simple thing.  A dog enjoying a safe, normal dog treat.  

And it was another of those things that just sort of happened. The ordinary became anything but.  The Adeline kicks on, the panic following close on the heels.  The fear or anxiety that refuses to leave after things go back to being, well one of those ordinary moment to enjoy.  That was it.

There are things that, but for the blink of an eye or a minor change, would just be an ordinary thing.  And there are things that should be ordinary and straight forward, yet they become anything other than that.  My four-footed companion just sort of happened into my life.  A joyous thing!  Also something that I easily take for granted.  Until something  like today happenes and then it’s not an ordinary thing or just a thing.

Attention Please

The four-footed one has been listening to frogs call out to each other. It’s that time of year where boy frogs seek the companionship of girl frogs, so they call out or do whatever it is that frogs do to draw attention to themselves.

The problem with this is that sometimes the frogs draw attention to themselves, but it isn’t attention they want. Such as hungry birds looking for the delicacy of frog legs and such. Or the attention of a curious dog who needs to get closer whenever possible. As in close enough to touch, or taste as the case may be.

But the frogs must ignore the risks, some will be a sacrifice and others will hook up with frogs to carry on the lineage. Some of the sacrifices will be flown away to be honored by being consumed in branches, and sadly some will be eaten where they are found. And then there are the ones that the four-footed one found.

She tried to pat them and give them a kiss. Who knows maybe she was looking for her prince charming. She chased them and caught them in between her paws. She was having a ball. The same cannot be said for the frogs who encountered her. Or for that matter Beloved, who was holding onto her leash and thus had as much frog fun as he ever wanted in life.

As we made our way back, a small frog hopped out of the cuff of Beloved’s pants. I guess it’s a quick way to get from one place to another, especially when an overly excited dog wants to be your friend and you are just looking for sexy time. Who knows, maybe the frog got lucky in more ways than just surviving time with the four-footed one.

Watching Tower

I’ve wondered often what it would be like to have a watch tower.  I’ve wondered if I would use it, and come to the conclusion I probably would.  But not for the intended purpose.  Instead I’d use it to look at all my dirt, marvel at the ever changing sky.  Probably take too many blurry pictures and if it were comfortable, I’d probably perch up there and read.

  I’m truly grateful that I have no need for the true purpose of a watch tower.  I’m grateful that I have peace, no people coming to conquer my land or take my home.  I cannot imagine living with such discord and threat right upon ones doorstep.  And yes I know people face this every day.  And yes I know a watch tower isn’t always the answer.

And what’s far more likely to be my undoing and road to destruction will no doubt come from something small and innocent looking.  Or at my own hand.  Or through my lack of knowledge etc.

Still I’ve often wondered about having one of those towers.  Just to escape from the hustle and bustle, enjoy a different pace and change of view.  Get a new different perspective of things.  Maybe feel a bit closer to the great mysteries and a little less connected to the mundane parts of life.  

Who Knows What Happens In The Mind

The four-footed one took Beloved on an outing.  It was supposed to be a walk, at least that’s what Beloved thought when they started out.  As for the four-footed one, well, she may have always had other plans!  Who know?  She is saying and I’m not asking.

I’m sure Beloved thought the walk would be a half hour, may an hour as the most.  Two hours slipped by and then three hours slipped by before they came home.  Her happy and tired and Beloved, well bedraggled and wet footed.  He was not happy, nor amused.  And he wasn’t afraid to give voice to his concern about what I may have done to the dog.

I assume that he thought the dog and I conspired against him.  As if I have time for that, or even leverage to get her to do what I want.  He just doesn’t get it.  When the four-footed one has it in her mind to go rambling or exploring there is no way to change her mind,  never mind that she is smaller than either one of us.  She has her own means of getting what she wants without using force.  Unless you count the force of her charming personality, huge puppy eyes or the force of her love.