Breakfast In Bed Anyone

I am not a fan of breakfast in bed.  To be honest I’m not a fan of any meal in bed, this may be a result of too many hospital stays.  And then again, it may be a case of feeling that where I eat should not be the same place where I sleep.

This doesn’t mean that I don’t eat in bed, obviously that’s the case when I’m staying over at the hospital.  And yes it is true, Beloved has served me breakfast in bed a few times as well as other meals.  I just don’t enjoy it as much as some people seem to like eating in bed.

it isn’t just because of the crumbs and such getting in your sheets.  You see friends, I don’t spend a lot of time in bed when I feel well.  When I’m in a horrible lupus flare however I may spend days in bed.  Those days pass by in a blur of sleep, pain and medications.

Perhaps it is because I’m a product of my upbringing where unless I was very ill my parents expected me to be up and about doing things.  Heck my mother subscribed to the theory of get up and get dressed because you will feel better.  Sometimes it works, sometimes I don’t even have the energy to get out of bed.  At best I pull a brush through my hair.

So why am I telling you all this?  Because recently someone told me they thought the most decadent thing in the world was eating breakfast in bed.  Now I’m sure she didn’t mean the jello cups that I get in the hospital, but I just can’t see how eating in bed is decadent.  How about you?  Has lupus ruined a good thing for me?

Invitation Seasons And Lupus

A friend told me she has several  wedding invitations already for late spring and summer.  Another friend shared that she has a few requests for cabin/lake time as well as beach time.  Beloved also has received invitations for various outings for spring and summer, and like most people he won’t be able to attend all of them so he will have to make choices.

There was a time in my life when I had all these invites as well, however having to miss so many things due to health issues and such the invitations slowly die out.  I don’t blame people for this, I mean at some point you get tired of a certain someone cancelling on you last-minute.  No matter how understanding you are, it gets tiresome.  I understand that.

The thing is, being the person who is always cancelling at the last-minute I also find these last-minute cancellations to be tiring.  I’m tired of not knowing until the very last moment if I will be able to attend a gathering.  Sometimes I lose the energy while I’m getting ready, such as doing my hair or getting dressed.  Other times I wake up and just know I can’t make it.

But as I said, cancelling gets tiring to, as does the whole sense of being isolated.  So often  times I will push myself to go out and deal with the aftermath as needed.  Unfortunately that has meant being short-tempered, snarky and such with friends and loved ones; pain never brings out the best of me.

On one hand it would be better to just stay away from anything that requires an invitation and such for both my sanity and those I care about.  On the other hand no one wants to be ignored.  Except when there are a million wedding and party invitations during the beautiful days of spring and summer!

A Wind, A Change, A Dog

The winds of change have started blowing through here.  Change in terms of weather.  Change in terms of health and change in terms of aging.  Nothing, of course, ever remains the same so perhaps these aren’t the winds of change so much as winds of a cycle.

The four-footed one has caught one of these winds to ride for a wild time.  When the wind dropped her off again she had internalized the wildness into a way of being.  And I thought the crazy days of puppy-hood were moving into a more calm period! 😉  Alas she seems to have found her second wind or such.

I don’t mind that she has found her second wind, however I do mind that I didn’t get a second wind either.  It seems a bit unfair.  But the wind has not helped my health and yes I am getting older too.  Still a second wind would be nice.  Since I don’t have that, I’m just going to hope that at some point a strong enough of a wind comes along at some point that can let me take a wild ride.  Perhaps I will be able to take some of that wildness into my own being!  Until that point I guess I will enjoy the way the four-footed one has taken in the changes and produced some of her own.  Now if only I can keep up with her!

Something Whirling In The Wind

I thought when we got her, that the four-footed one was a dog. I never suspected that she would really be a mini whirlwind disguised as a dog racing from here to there with barely a pause. And yet it seems this isn’t’ the case. Except when she’s sleeping; then I’m positive she is a dog. She even has the vet fooled, that’s how good this disguise is.

But Beloved, I and our friends know otherwise. We have watched her race around the house leaving a wake of turmoil, disturbance and mess where she has visited. I know what you are thinking; she’s just in need of training, or perhaps managing and such. The truth is, you cannot train a whirlwind any more than you can attempt to tame the wind. She is a force unto her own. A free spirit following her own desires and whims.

We thought we’d contain the umm effects of her activities to one room, however she has discovered this thing called space. Actually she discovered the other rooms in the house and I’m pretty certain she decided to spread her style of decorating to these rooms as well.

At first we picked up after her, but when you do this about a million times in one day you get to the point of wondering why you even bother, especially when the item you’ve just put away reappears in some random spot in under a minute. Sure we could take away her toys and what have you, but then I’m pretty certain she’d demand that we become her toys and as much as I adore her, I’m not about to become a toy for her to shake or chew.

We’ve lied to ourselves saying this is a phase she will outgrow, but why would she? And yes I suspect we have kind of become overwhelmed with how fast and far-reaching her umm help travels which is why we’ve decided to just let the herd of “babies” stay wherever she leaves me. And by babies, I mean leaves that make crinkly noises when you pick them up, along with squeaky gingerbread boys and girls. Add some pigs that oink, cows that moo and a couple of dinosaurs to this group and you get somewhat of a feel for her babies. I never signed up for rounding up this slightly odd grouping of “family” members on a regular basis. Besides the pay is not what I expected.

Roping Energy

Beloved finished putting the last few items in his bag and looked around to see If he had forgotten anything.  The four-footed one climbed up next to his bag as if to say don’t forget about me.  But she was staying back with me,  he was only going away for a few days for some work.  While this all makes sense to humans, it probably did not make sense to her.

He, who recently had been the one to take her for walks, and play hide the toys and chase the bag, was her current favorite person.  I was a decent human for resting against and snuggling against since the past few days have kept me mostly prone.  Between a respiratory illness and lupus I haven’t foun the energy to do much of anything.  And the four-footed one is a girl of adventure and burst of energy.  Clearly the things I currently am not.

So compromise or common ground or something would have to be found.  One that would not leave me in worse shape but also not leave her bored and full of energy.  So before he left, Beloved found the compromise with some of her rope toys.  Which is why there are ropes near the bed, the coach and the comfy chairs.  Maybe next time I will him sneak her into the bag, she’s small enough!

Fine Exuberance

Beloved took our four-footed companion for an outing and allowed me to rest.  The past few days have been what I call fine.  Fine as in I’m doing fine with a huge smile on my face as I wonder how I will get through the next few hours never mind the rest of the day.  Fine as in no one really knows what’s going on with me because I just done feel the need to explain it all and besides I don’t want to whine because there are people far worse off than I am.  Fine as in yes I’m in pain and yes I’m scared, but I don’t want to bother or burden anyone.

So they went off for an outing of the longer variety.  We were trying to burn off some of the excess energy in our wonder dog, but instead it was Beloved whose energy got burnt off! 😮  The four-footed one seems to have endless amounts of energy that cannot be restrained or burnt off. At least not in large amounts.  And to be honest, I’m envious of her energy as well as her joy at living life.  I try to grasp her exuberance and pull it together into myself.  Of course that doesn’t work, but I gather energy and joy in watching her and playing with her.

So Beloved came home needing a rest and the four-footed one decided to play gently with me.  She knows I can’t play as hard or actively as Beloved some days and she accepts that.  Just as she accepts some times I need to rest and then, just like she did today, she will curl up beside me for some scratches and stroking!

Dogs, Energy And Healing Aches

Between playing chase, peek-a-boo and the odd catch-me-if-you-can sprinkled in for good measure, my aching joints  are ready for a rest.  The four-footed one doesn’t understand this need of mine to rest and so she protests with some growls, whines and tail wags.  If  only that could fix it all, I’d be playing with her all the time!  Alas these aren’t the answer to my aches and pains all the time.

And pain medication isn’t always the answer either.  Not because they don’t work to some degree or another, but because I don’t always want to rely on them.  To be honest I use them exceedingly sparingly.  Much to my specialist’s glee.  But he also knows that means a great deal of the time I, just trying to push through.  So he is always looking for something new for me to try.

He suggested reiki recently, with a twist.  Because he is curious as to how it works, being a man of science after all, he set up a distance healing session without telling the practitioner about my specific issues.  At a given time the practitioner got to work in one place while I was in a different location.

She reported back to my specialist that she noted an issue with my right hip, both knees and neck.  Interestingly these were the areas I complained about to my specialist in my last visit as well as my shoulder-blade.  So she missed my shoulder-blade but got the others.  She also indicated a problem with my liver, which I have.

My specialist asked me if I felt anything from her work, and I told him my right hip didn’t seem to be as sore.  I couldn’t say if that was from her work or the rest from playing with the dog.  And I don’t need to know how it works either.  We will be trying another session later in to see if the magic works some more!