Humble. Humility. Grace. These are words I struggle with all the time friends. All the time. I once told a fellow classmate that if God gives us gifts or talents then surely we must also receive things to help where we are lacking. And if not God than surely some thing in the universe that ensures all things balance out, more or less, in the end.
Since that time I’ve had people assure me I’d learn these things, like to be humble through experiences. I’d grasp humility by being taught it as I go on this journey called life. And grace would come to me, to teach me the way in time. All these things would come. No one said they would come easy or when I wanted either.
I suppose part of the problem with these words is that there a contest to them, one of surrender or weakness and that, at least not where I’m from, is a good thing. One must be strong, tough as nails, able to hold her own. One needs to know how to fight for what she wants, what she has and so on. In other words you have to be tough.
But to live a humble life, to have humility and act in grace, don’t these all require deep strength? Thus does it not mean I’m more weak for not being able to have these traits in my life? Am I weak for wanting them, knowing how hard of a struggle they are and knowing in some ways hey clash with the culture and the images in my life?