kisses

June 27, 2019

Affected By Affection

Some people struggle to show affection.  Hugs are awkward or painful.  A simple touch can become the most strange series of movements for some people.  Other people have no problem showing affection. In fact there are some people who frankly are a bit too free with showing off their affection.

The four-footed one is rather comfortable with showing her affection.  Tail wags, excited dances, wiggling body, jumping and standing on two legs are all part of the deal. We are working on the jumping up on people because, well, jumping up on people is rude.

If she really likes you, if she has great affection for you, you will bear the marks of her affection.  She loves to give kisses.  Especially on your light colored clothing, glasses and hair.  But she also likes to “hug” you by trying to wrap her legs around your arm or neck, depending upon what’s closest to her.  And this brings a whole new set of marks.  Because you see, she scratches.  Not on perhaps.  But unlike a cat she is unable to retract her claws.  So you end up with scratches.

Some of these scratches are deep and painful.  Others are like nothing.  So we are working on that as well.  Because not everyone wants to be scratched, even if it is in the name of affection.  Beloved will tell you that the worst is when she’s given you a hug which has left deep scratches that she decides to kiss better.

February 18, 2019

Pink Tongues

So much depends on a small, pink tongue.  After all so much is conveyed by a small pink tonight.  From being tired, exhausted, hot, thirsty or in need of a sharing a kiss.  That small pink tongue can say so much with just its appearance.

Sometimes that small pink tongue peeks out at me for no real reason at all.  As if just to check my curiosity.  It darts out and then quickly retreats back into the small mouth where it normally hides.

Sometimes that pink tongue insists on making contact with my hand, where it covers the entire exposed surface in a series of rapid lick.  If I move away from that cute, pink tongue, it tries to find me again.

I look for that pink tongue, to gauge the mood of the tongue’s owner.  I can also check her health a bit this way too.  Is the tongue looking too pink?  Is it too pale?  And on it goes.

Sometimes the tongue is protected by sharp teeth.  Not that the ever pierce my skin, but they have grasped a finger now and then.  Other on hold my finger for the tongue either.  Rather as if to say let’s go here, or check this out.

You see, so much depends on a small, pink tongue.  At least in my world it does.

September 28, 2018

Letting Them Be

Some days you just don’t what you are going to get when you open your door to step in the house after a day out.  If you live with a very excitable and loving four-footed companion like I do, you may listen well before you open the door.  It’s just a way to get a feel for things before you actual step into it.

Today I stopped and gave a quick listen before entering my own house.  The listen told me nothing.  Silence greeted me.  Now silence could mean the four-footed one is sleeping, preoccupied or out for a walk with Beloved.  So naturally I was a bit cautious when I opened the door.  Just in case the preoccupation was interrupted.

You see the four-foots one likes to run to the door and launch herself at me.  She loves to jump and squirm around my legs.  All while wagging her tail a thousand times a minute while trying to lick me.  So yes, caution is a good thing.

But she never greeted me.  Beloved’s shoes were at the door so I know he wasn’t out for a walk with her.  Silence filled the air as I started to go through putting my stuff down and seeing where they were.

It turns out the two of them were napping.  On the bed.  Sound asleep.  They must have had a busy day to not even stir when I came in the room.  So I did what they said one should do when one encounters a sleeping dog,  I let her, and Beloved, stay sleeping.

May 25, 2016

Cold, Empty Arms After A Last Ride or Why My Dog Is Better Than I ever Will Be

It’s funny how empty your arms feel, after you know you will never hold a particular loved one again.  All the times you’ve taken that warm, sweet, comforting weight against your body and just took it for granted that it would always be there.  And then one day, one hard day, it isn’t any more.

I don’t think I will be able to erase the cold empty feeling in my arms grinds.  I’ve tried, oh how I’ve tried.  But I’m cold and empty and I don’t think my heart can be fixed any more.  You see today we noticed one of our beloved four-footed friends struggling with walking on and off.  And then it was breathing became a problem which resulted in the last ride together.  The last set of cuddles and kisses, hugs and a struggled tail wag.

Holding my Sweetums for the last time while the medication took hold.  The medication that put my faith companion, the one full of unconditional love, to sleep for the last time.  And while I had my friend, while the medication went to work I thought I’d never lose the feeling. And yet I did.

The house is empty, too still and too lonely in some way.  And my arms are ever so dreadfully empty, a strange feeling settling in that may never go away.  And yet I’m blessed for this darling animal provided me unconditional love, support and a truth about filling life with all that you can in the moment.  And now I’m empty from that.

The sweet weight of that warm body, the louder than normal snoring noises at night, the little barks in sleep and the demand to be included on every trip out the door…those are gone.  But they live on, painfully right now in my heart.  I know that as time goes by it will be easier and I also know I’m a better person for having been loved by my sweet friend.  But it now, right now there is a void I can’t seem to fill and an emptiness that makes my very being shake.

did I hold on long enough?  Did I hold on too long?  Is it okay to let them take the loved one shortly after the procedure or are you supposed to hold on longer?  To each their own, and yet we all go through this.  Even though mentally I knew we were starting the long goodbye a few months back. Always I held out hope.  And maybe hats why after a few moments I was willing to let the body go, for the life and the spirit of the animal I knew and loved was already gone.

This is why love sucks, this is why loving a dog is so hard.  Because at some point we have to say good-bye, and I wasn’t done learning all the lessons yet.  But the schedule wasn’t mine to make and now I can only try to recapture that feeling and hold a sweet bundle of tail wagging, unconditional love in my heart and memories.