amazing you

November 28, 2019

I Wonder…

I wonder what it would be like to be in charge of making the rain or the sunshine. I wonder what it would feel like to see the results of what I manage and know that people appreciate it. With that, of course, is the flip side, knowing that there are times people won’t be so happy to see that what I manage.

I wonder if I could manage the sunshine being produced and delivered. Or ensuring the rain had just the correct amount of freshness and coolness. It’s probably for the best that this isn’t my job.

How about you? Do you ever dream or wonder about something and in your heart know that you aren’t suited for it? Do you get curious about it all the same? Or do you know yourself well enough to know what is and what isn’t right for you?

If this is the case, I am in awe of you. I am in awe of how well you know yourself and what your limitations are. Perhaps at some point, you would be so kind as to share your secret or talent with me. If not, that’s okay, only please make sure we have more sun than anything else. If you don’t mind that is!

June 22, 2019

Pictures Don’t Tell The Truth

The four-footed one loves to have her picture taken.  Just tell her you want to take her picture and she will look up, all sweet and innocent, even if the moment before she was being a little devil.  I’m not really sure if she understands having her picture taken, but she seems to.  And she doesn’t seem to mind either.

I’ve never been a large fan of having my picture taken.  After I started tea tempt for luous it got even worse.  I mean it’s hard to want your picture taken when you feel awful.  It’s hard to be cheerful or smile when all you can think about is the brilliant red rash across your cheeks.  And please don’t ask me to smile of be anywhere near having my picture taken when I have had prednisone.  

Prednisone makes me look and feel unpretty, and hungry.  And it’s impossible to feel beautiful, or even okay looking when you have gained a lot of weight and have a huge, round face.  It’s just so hard sometimes. 

But sometimes you can’t choose the treatment that works with lupus..  Sometimes you have to settle for being so hungry you could and would eat everything in sight.  Sometimes you have to settle for a round face, weight gain and feeling unpretty just to save your organs.

But you can choose to realize that what is staring at you when you look in e mirror is still a beautiful person.  The vision in the mirror is just distorted.  And it’s okay because you have bigger things to focus on, such as your health and how incredible you are.  So let the distorted visit be in the mirror because it will disappear soon enough.  But your amazingness will stay and sometimes pictures don’t show it well enough.