A television show made my chronic illness a name/word that people recognized. That same television show had a running joke of my illness. It’s all fun and games until…well, until it is Lupus. Then the fun stops, the laughter kind of ends and the getting serious gets serious.

The reality of Lupus is similar to a civil war. My body is attacking itself. The good guys can’t seem to wait for the bad guys to show up, instead they are itching for a fight and choose an organ or such to attack. And the thing is, since it’s really me attacking myself, the only damage is to me.

The thing about a civil war is that by the end of it, you really know the land, the layout that you’ve been fighting on and for. And that’s one of the things Lupus has done for me, made me very aware and familiar with, well, me.

The problem with war, any type of war, is that a “win” comes at a huge price. A price that people sometimes are forced to pay; a price people don’t ever expect to really have to pay.

To be honest here, I’m not exactly sure what a “win” is when you live with Lupus. I think it’s more a compromise with some things sacrificed.

Lupus isn’t “trendy” or “sexy”. The people who have Lupus, those remarkable folks, can make it seem that way sometimes. But it isn’t all horrors and nightmares either.

It’s just another challenge, a constant companion in my journey of life. That doesn’t time an I downplay it, well okay since we are being frank, I do tend to downplay it for friends, family, loved ones. To spare them, to spare myself too because I’m not just Lupus. I happen to be a girl, who happens to have Lupus.