The Fright Long After Halloween

Beloved can be, well, unusual at times.  In fairness we all can.  So when he came into the house and declared someone was going through our trash I just kind of shrugged my shoulders. It isn’t like we have exciting trash.  Mostly just food stuffs and dirty paper napkins.  The odd wrapper and lots of dog poop.

We tie out dog poop up in little baggies once we pick up after her.  Which is right after she’s decided to do the deed.  So I mean honestly if someone were to go through our rubbish, have at it.  But to Beloved this isn’t good enough.  First he wanted hard proof someone was going through the rubbish bins and secondly he would want to know want they were looking for.

Beloved being Beloved, he set up a covert camera and trained it on the trash cans.  Within a few days he had his proof, there were two individuals going through the bins.  They were not successful in finding whatever it is they wanted to find as they walked away empty-handed.  And while they did go through the trash, they sort of tidied it up when they were done.

Still I was unnerved that someone felt s need or desire to go through my trash so we called local law enforcement and shared the footage with them.  And that’s why we now have law enforcement do random checks throughout the day.  It’s also  why Beloved has someone with him at work now too.  Just until we know what’s going on,  because free speech and the right to associate with who you wish is never really free.  People will try to exact a cost, such as a career or a life if need be.

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Bite Sized Problems

‘Cut broccoli into bite sized pieces’, the recipe advised.  I should have known it would be downhill from there.  I mean how on earth can anyone cut broccoli florets in bite-sized pieces?  Have you tried? You end up with little green flower things all over the place.  Trust me.   And who’s size of bite anyway?

But cut the broccoli was what it said so that’s what I attempted to do.  It ended up looking like I massacred some alien creature all over the cutting board before spilling onto the floor into tiny droplets of green.  Tiny droplets, actually little flower bits, that the dogs happily tracked throughout the house because clearly why would anyone leave green bits in just one room when you have a whole house?!😉  Then I washed the sad bits of broccoli I had cut and aside to drain while I went onto the rest of the recipe.

I grated cheese, well the dogs and I did have to do the requisite quality control sampling first.  Just to make sure it was safe, and then I grated.  The problem with grating cheese is somehow it never seems to be enough.  Those lovely strands where a cup is called for somehow seems sadly under-sized, so I grate far more and let’s face it, can you ever have too much cheese?  So I grated the cheese, chopped the onion finely, and cried a little.  Because hello, it’s onions!

I shook the broccoli bits, placed them in a bowl with the onions shards, tossed in some crumbled bacon and gently let half the cheese cascade into the bowl.  Then it was time for the dressing, which frankly was straightforward but also just perplexing.  Okay not perplexing so much as annoying.  You see the recipe called for 1/8 cup of something.  Not two tablespoons, but 1/8 cup of the item.  Now who has 1/8 measuring cups?  Not this girl.  Not by a long shot.  But this girl knows that 1/4 cup is four tablespoons.  So I just needed to half that.  Yes I know, math, but hey.  I did however breakout into hives after doing the math because I am allergic to the stuff.

After the dressing was completed I spooned some over the salad, then let it sit for a few hours.  The plan was to finish dressing the salad just before serving and add the remainder of the cheese.  Because again it’s cheese and there is no such thing as too much cheese.  Certainly not when it comes to bite sized broccoli bits.  The time between serving and making was spent chasing down those little green prices all throughout my house.  I have a feeling, based on the amount of time I’ve already spent doing this, green bits will be found for weeks to come.  Because I had to cut broccoli into bite sized pieces and I live with dogs, who like to help spread alien bits throughout the house.  Because who wouldn’t want to celebrate the salad by spreading it throughout the house?!