A Lupus Looped Path

I walked into my specialist’s office feeling like absolute garbage.  I didn’t go into the office because I felt so awful, that was just an added benefit on this trip.  I had gone in to go over lab results and discuss which way I was going in my “chose your own adventure” with lupus.

The fact I could walk in and when my specialist asked me how I was, and point to all the various pain points was an added bonus.  He suggested I consider getting a massage for some of the pain.  He said that my ears had fallen, and I was guarding myself far too much.  A massage, he reasoned, might help raise my ears and put my body at ease.

Now in all truth, my ears hadn’t fallen.  I was in pain. When I’m in pain, I pull my shoulders up and forward.  I hunch over a bit. And frankly spending any amount of time in this position doesn’t help the pain. It may, in fact, increase the pain I feel.

Since he couldn’t a reason for not getting a massage, he called in one of his nurses and told her what he thought I needed. She in turn told me she was making arrangements for the massage with the therapist just down the hall.  In other words, there was no way to avoid it.

So I went. And the therapist tried to massage out my painful muscles, but she couldn’t. Because I couldn’t relax. Because of the pain I was already in.  So she opted to use a TENS machine to try to help the muscles relax.  While I sat there with this lovely pit of electronic equipment pulsing my tight muscles, the therapist went to talk with the specialist.

When she came back, she told me that there wasn’t much more she could do at this time. She suggested Epsom salts in bath water to try to ease some of the pain.

This is not exactly the path I chose in my adventure with lupus, but sometimes you rely on a team member who may or may not be right.   We will see where we go next!

Violence Restrained And What Happens Next

Beloved went to visit his family, I stayed home because I wasn’t up for the trip and given my new treatment for lupus I  need to be careful around people who are sick.  One of his nieces was just getting over a cold so I didn’t feel it would be wise to risk it.

So while he went off to visit family, I attempted to work on my calm, peace and napping.  According to warden tracking device my attempts at peace and calm actually increase my work on focus.  And attempting to nap turns into activity apparently.  It could be that my warden is a bit confused or I’m confused at what these activities are supposed to be like.  Of course there is also a bit of, umm, what you may call contrarian behavior on my part!  Just a wee touch mind! 😉

While I was in my attempting to nap phase, (I wonder if I always had this idea with napping or did I just get anti-napping at some stage in life?), I received a text message from one of Beloved’s sisters.  The text started with “we had a great visit” and  then “he’s on his way home and we didn’t want to alarm you so…” (Pretty sure it’s stuff like this that doesn’t help in the napping department, or the calm if you get right down to it!)

after a brief period of nothing, a picture of Beloved came onto my screen.  Beloved with a swollen cheek and a black eye.  Beloved who looked as if he had been assaulted.  Because he had been.  By his almost sixteen year old nephew.  A nephew who has violent rages that are set off by just about anything.  Or so it seems to me because I don’t understand autism.  And the nephew has autism.

Now once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away, or was it a long long time ago…anyway at one stage in his life Beloved trained in boxing.  He also worked as a bouncer.  Just not in the same phase.  The boxing came first, the bouncing came later on.

The picture I saw looked like a man who never figured out how to move and doge.  Bobbing and weaving seem to have left Beloved’s skill set.  But when he came home, he assured me it wasn’t for lack of bobbing or weaving.  It happened when he and his brother-in-law were trying to restrain the violence.

Apparently at some point the nephew became frustrated and started throwing objects.  At people.  Thankfully the baseball teams aren’t beating a path to his doorway although I pretty sure the Speed his throws things at are impressive.  He just needs to work on accuracy, but no one is lining up to give him this skill.  That could become a deadly mistake.

After running out of items to throw, the boy decided that hitting, kicking and biting people were in order.  It was at this point, before blood was drawn or a successful bite landed in human flesh, Beloved and his brother-in-law moved to operation restraint.  Successful this time.  But at some point someone won’t be able to restrain him and then what?

What happens to the boy?  What happens to any one who gets in his way?  How do we protect him from himself and still protect everyone else without taking him away from opportunities and society?  He isn’t even fully grown yet.  Do the rages get stronger as his strength grows?  What happens if it gets out of hand?  If someone gets hurt, especially if someone who doesn’t neerstand him gets hurt…or worse?