Fancy Dress Or Costume, Which Is It

Beloved tugged at the loose neck of his old, well-worn t-shirt as he read the card in his hand.  You would think, based on his behavior, that his shirt was strangling him to death, but the shirt is so worn it long ago lost its shape.  It was the card, or rather what was on the card that was making him behave so oddly.

The four-footed one is far more curious than I am so I left to her to get him to share.  Which he did the minute she instead on sticking her small, hard and persistent head repeatedly between him and the card.  When the four-footed one demands attention she is nothing if not persistent!  And as is almost always the case, Beloved gave her the attention she so dearly wanted!  Our four-footed one can be a of the jealous sort now and then!

As he was giving her ears a rub, he told me he had been summoned to his niece’s wedding.  Now Beloved is far from being an only child and he is rather younger than the majority of his siblings.  He mother refers to him as a “lovely wee surprise”.  Anyway his sister closest in age to him had sent an invitation to her youngest daughter’s wedding.  She has five children, all of them girls.

The wedding, he said with a look of doom on his face, was to be a special affair, with a Marie Antoinette theme to it.  Now me not having all the pieces to puzzle, could not fathom why he was so down in the mouth since he could simply decline and send a lovely gift. I know it may seem tacky to some of you but I should point out Beloved is not overly close to this niece and it is her fourth attempt at wedded bliss.  So naturally I voiced my thoughts out loud only to corners of his mouth hit the floor as he said, “oh I’m to be part of the wedding”.

An image of him wearing a huge and very bouffant wig popped into my head causing me to giggle. He was not amused by my giggling nor the image that I shared with him.  I’m sure he would have found the humor if he wasn’t fuming over having to be dressed like a groomsman from the royal court. And I missed his inability to find humor in his mandate attire.  Possibly what allowed me to find the humor was knowing I wasn’t I wasn’t invited and therefore spared the dress made out of heavy drapery material and bouffant wig.

An hour or so after the pall of doom was cast upon Beloved by the opening and reading of said card he looked at me and said he simply wasn’t going.  He was too old for this type of thing Andy besides he hadn’t attended three previous weddings for this girl.  He had evidently sent her and her mother an email explaining all of this.

And then he joined me in fits of giggles over imagery and other such thoughts knowing that he was free from having to wear tight stockings and slippers for shoes!

Invitation Seasons And Lupus

A friend told me she has several  wedding invitations already for late spring and summer.  Another friend shared that she has a few requests for cabin/lake time as well as beach time.  Beloved also has received invitations for various outings for spring and summer, and like most people he won’t be able to attend all of them so he will have to make choices.

There was a time in my life when I had all these invites as well, however having to miss so many things due to health issues and such the invitations slowly die out.  I don’t blame people for this, I mean at some point you get tired of a certain someone cancelling on you last-minute.  No matter how understanding you are, it gets tiresome.  I understand that.

The thing is, being the person who is always cancelling at the last-minute I also find these last-minute cancellations to be tiring.  I’m tired of not knowing until the very last moment if I will be able to attend a gathering.  Sometimes I lose the energy while I’m getting ready, such as doing my hair or getting dressed.  Other times I wake up and just know I can’t make it.

But as I said, cancelling gets tiring to, as does the whole sense of being isolated.  So often  times I will push myself to go out and deal with the aftermath as needed.  Unfortunately that has meant being short-tempered, snarky and such with friends and loved ones; pain never brings out the best of me.

On one hand it would be better to just stay away from anything that requires an invitation and such for both my sanity and those I care about.  On the other hand no one wants to be ignored.  Except when there are a million wedding and party invitations during the beautiful days of spring and summer!

Dressing Commitment

I can’t explain exactly why I ended up in a bridal store.  I mean I have no desire to get married and Beloved concurs that neither of us requires paper or signatures to validate our relationship status.  And yet I still found myself in a bridal store.

Not just in the store mind you.  Oh no I had more than just stepped in, I mean there was an opening of the door, walking through the door and then walking over to a specific area.  As in looking at dresses in.  Looking at expensive dresses I have no need for to be exact.

I’m not sure what had caught my eye when I was walking by the store, but something had drawn me in.  Prior to this visit I hadn’t been in one of these stores in a rather long time.  I felt exceedingly out of my element and more so when the salesperson asked me if I had an appointment or wanted to make one.  Think oil and water out of your element to get the feeling.  I politely declined after taking a bit more of a glance at the dresses and headed out.

Beloved doesn’t believe in coincidence, and since it’s not a street I would normally walk, he felt there was a reason for me to be there.  perhaps a chance to examine why I’m so set against marriage, but I know why.  I have tried it, it isn’t for me.  I also bristle at the idea of needing permission or approval to spend my life with Beloved.  To me this is just silly.

I’m sure if I did change my mind Beloved would be rather willing to get married.  But he has his own string of previous attempts behind him and while he has never said the institution isn’t for him, he has said he isn’t sure what is the secret to making it work out.   Not that he is against trying again, but he is against the whole big ceremony deal that happens with most weddings.  He thinks if he were to do it again he’d want something small and simple.  And none of this ritual habits that are done only for the day.  Nope he wants an-every-day kind of deal.

I’m beginning to wonder if I shouldn’t have made an appointment, grabbed a few friends and tried on the dresses, just for a laugh.  But that would be wrong given the salesperson is probably on commission and doesn’t want to hear us laughing at how I look like a stuffed sausage or what have you.

Maybe when he becomes a senior citizen I will agree to a small ceremony.  That’s only a maybe because I, not that committed, to the ceremony that is.  I am committed to him and seeing where this journey takes us!  To me that’s better than a dress, a ring or all the other trappings!

Officially Un

I’m not sure how it came about, but Beloved and I decided to make our unofficial status officially unofficial! 😉

Make sense?  Maybe not to you, but to us it seems very logical.

You see most couples reach a point where they do something to make things official.  Typically a wedding ceremony or civil service.  These represent symbols their commitment to each other.  These tend to be have legal ramifications for the couple.

Beloved and I have been there before, we have the “scars” to prove it.  We decided that we don’t need “no stinkin’ paper” or to be official in the eyes of anything or any one.

Bold?  Perhaps.  Not that long ago we couldn’t have made this decision.  There would have been serious legal consequences.

I like the fact that we are free to do our own thing.  The fact that we are officially unofficial is really just an extension of who we are and what we believe in.  Sure Beloved wouldn’t be opposed to the official route, but why bother with the hassle and cost when we don’t need to?

So there you have it, we have officially decided to become unofficial!

Which means what exactly?  Status quo.  That’s all! ☺️

Part Of The Wedding Party

Beloved was invited to be part of a wedding party recently.  The invitation was extended to include the dog as well as me.  Actually the invitation started with asking Beloved if he would attend the wedding, be a part of it so that our digit could be a ring bearer.  No you read that right, he was asked to be part of a wedding party so our dog could be the ring bearer.  Basically Beloved and I were after thoughts, or rather tag-a-longs.

Now in order for Beloved and of course the dog to attend the wedding there was a wee bit of travel and a hotel involved.  Which of course means money must be spent.  Not that Beloved was against spending money to see a friend, but he was a bit taken aback at the request being for the dog first.

So Beloved and the dog  will  be attending as wedding party attendants and dates I guess.

When I mentioned this to another friend she said she hates being invited to weddings now that she has a family.  For her it’s the cost and the struggles of trying to keep two under 10 years old occupied and not creating issues.  She has done this three times  and each time she wishes she’d said no and not just because of then o and hassle, but also the intrusion and disruption in her family’s life.  She says that as she gets older she doesn’t see weddings as an honor any more.  She has been to enough of them and sometimes multiple one’s for the same friend that to it’s rather too much.

Beloved and I don’t see it that way, although amused is how we see it.  Beloved and I are amused that our dog, more so than us, is the real guest at the wedding.  And maybe, just maybe, that’s fitting, as im sure the dog will be better behaved than Beloved!

Summer, Weddings and Lupus

Summer: the season of outdoor living, beaches, grilling, things growing road trips and weddings. Oh yes, the wedding season, least we forget it there are invitations floating on the breeze. 🙂

Wedding invitations are lovely things, a chance to share the joyous moments with dear friends and loved ones. A chance to dress up and let loose, if that’s how you roll.

So far we have had received seven requests for our presence at various weddings. Three are being held on the same day, each in a different country. We won’t be attending any of those three, logistically it would be a nightmare not to mention there is the small matter of a schedule IV treatment for me.

As a matter of fact, this wedding season is one I’m sitting out. Under doctor’s orders.

Beloved has decided he needs to attend two of these weddings as they are both involve his close friends getting married. There is a part of me that is relieved to sit this season out. Mostly my feet. 🙂

I hope my friends understand because sometimes lupus gets me the way of ordinary things. If not, I guess I can ask them to move their wedding to my hospital room! 🙂

Wedded Truth

A wedding is a joyous occasion, at least for the bride and groom. At least it’s supposed to be!

But when I received a wedding invitation recently it was with mixed emotions, I was happy for the couple, a bit surprised that after a period of time living together they had decided to have an official wedding. But to each their own.

I did want to tell them this wouldn’t make their relationship any more committed than it already was, which by the way is very solid and committed. I wanted to remind them that love should be celebrated daily, not just once a year to mark the day that they got married.

And part of me wanted to say something else. This something, which may be a little horrible, but I’m sorry I can’t help it. I wanted to ask them to be the ones to consider their guests. To not make it too,formal, to allow us to be comfortable while we witnessed this moment in their lives. I mean I’ve sat through these things in the past where instead of focusing on the whole ceremony, I start to wonder how long my feet would last in my shoes. I once found my partner checking his watch during a ceremony so i know I’m not alone in this.

Now I’m not talking wear yoga pants to the wedding, but I’d rather not having to wear all uncomfortable trappings that make up formal wear. I mean come on, these people are dear to me and they never see me in formal attire so why play dress-up or costume party now? Right?

I didn’t say any of those things though, I assured them I’d be at the wedding and I offered assistance if they needed it. And I’m sure it will be a lovely wedding and I’m sure I won’t fully focus on it because it seems there are times I have the attention span of a flea. Right now this attention span only seems to be long when I consider all the various outfits I have bought for such occasions and still, I buy more because what I have isn’t right. I have a number of these items that I may wear one or two more times because it’s for someone dear. Perhaps instead of buying a present, going forward, the wedding present will simply be that I put on something formal and attended the wedding! 🙂