Bugging The Bugs

When the blood sucking bugs come out, it’s a wonderfully awful time for me.  I don’t know many people who enjoy a blood sucking bug, and I’m really not a fan of them.  However I do enjoy the fact that when said bug lands on me and decides to sample my blood, the bug is in for a nasty surprise.  

You see having lupus means taking some pretty toxic drugs.  The kind of drugs that alter your blood.  The type,of drugs that means medical staff take extra precautions when drawing your blood.  Yeah that kind of blood.  So when the blood sucking bug takes my blood, well the bug is getting a toxic meal.  And I assume, but cannot prove, that this really doesn’t bode well for the bug.

I envision the bug exploding in mid air thanks to that toxic mix flowing through its body.  Again I have no proof, but a girl can hope based on the imagination.  Listen when you spend as much time as I do getting drugs like chemo, you have plenty of time to imagine things.

I like to think that this is part of my public service, being their last meal and all.  And that’s just one of the cool things I’ve found with lupus, even if it’s only part of my imgaination.


To Be Blessed In Dark Times

Blessings come in all forms.  Some are obvious, others are more hidden.  A dear friend of Beloved’s was recently told she was being let go from her job.  There simply was not enough to justify her position in this tight market.  She loved her job, just not her employer.

In the past 6 months her company had brought in SixSigma consultants who were asked to streamline th business and cut costs. The first changes brought in was the reduction of administrative staff.  Everyone was expected to pick up the slack with these positions being removed.  At no extra pay.  Oh and the extra time spent at work doing these things were to be considered voluntary.  Of course these were just the first cuts.  And the environment became negative and full of toxic behaviours.

letting her go got her out of the toxic environment much sooner than she otherwise would have been leaving the place.  Since she was let go Beloved noticed that she seems to be able to smile more, even though she is in between jobs.  Beloved also noticed her sense of Humor again.

She told him when it first happened she was somewhat devastated, but also felt a sense of lightness within herself.  Like she could just let go of a weight she had been carrying.  It helped, she told him, that she had money set aside just in case something like this happened.

It was then that Beloved told me he had been debating asking if we could find a way to help her out by letting her move into the house.  There is enough space to be sure.  It might be a bit weird though.  But before he got the chance to ask, she told him that she was taking a much deserved trip abroad.  To just think, recharge and move forward with her life as need be.

The real blessing in all of this is her attitude.  Hopefully I will be as blessed when more adversity comes my way.

What’s In Your IV

aoI put in my request for a nice coffee, but she ignored me.  I don’t understand why I can’t have coffee in my IV instead of toxic medications to keep lupus at bay! 😉

Actually why can’t coffee, conversation, time with friends, good books and such be then urge for lupus?  I’d be much happier with that than the toxic meds I take now.

don get me wrong, I’m not ungrateful for the meds and how they’ve allowed me a quality of life that is closer to what I desire.  And I’m certainly aware that not that long ago people died from the complications of lupus.

But it would be ever so nice for the medications to not be so harsh on my whole body.  I’m okay with them kicking the heck out of lupus, but I’d rather not be the battleground thanks all the same.

but I guess if they put coffee in my IV it wouldn’t be the same as savouring the taste of coffee.  Although I suppose I could forego a few more hours of sleep from the “up” I’d get from caffeine flowing directly into my bloodstream.  Granted that might also give lupus more energy! 😳

On that note maybe I will stick to my toxic meds and savor the coffee when I feel up to drinking it! 😊

Changing For Change

I work with a man who has changed his career several times over.  He believes a person shouldn’t be unhappy in his/her job and thus he has switched and jumped jobs as required to meet that ideal.

He started his adult career in business, became unhappy and decided to teach.  After much dissatisfaction as an educator,  he changed to marketing before settling in theology, but is not happy there either.

It isn’t just a case of a man trying to find what he wants to be when he grows up, as he has mentioned horribly bosses and colleagues as reasons for switching not just where he works, but what he does.

I agree that  life is too short to be unhappy or miserable, but at some point I would want to settle into something and be at least content.  I accept that not everyone we work with is going to be our best friends, but I can’t fathom that every boss is going to be toxic or out to get us.  I also cannot buy into the idea that to my coworkers are all negative or toxic people.

I can’t help but wonder if part of his unhappiness is because he is seeking a fairytale instead of living real life.  And I must confess that does make me a bit sorry for him because there is no happily ever after for ever into the sunset deal.

It’s  life with all the ups and downs.  The good and the bad, the happiness and the unhappiness.  For without one how do we possibly know the other, or for that matter how we do embrace life fully if we remain in denial of the duality of living.

But maybe it is easier to keep changing where we work or what we do rather than change ourselves.