Making Of A Hero

In the movies the hero always saves the day, just in the nick of time.  Sure the hero faces many obstacles and there is some doubt about a successful outcome, but in the end the hero comes through.

Now what makes the person a hero will vary, it depends on the issues at hand.  My hero sometimes doesn’t make it in time.  To save the burning food, or spilled cup.  He tries, but let’s face it Beloved is no Flash Gordon.  He also will never leap tall building in a single bound or fly.

But Beloved is my hero, one of em anyway.  It’s not easy living with a stubborn person.  Really not easy living with a stubborn person who happens to have lupus.  It can be down right near impossible to live with a person who is not only stubborn and has lupus but refuses to follow the rules.  And yet Beloved does this all with a smile on his face.

When he’s around there is less chance of burnt food because he will do the cooking and the washing up.  As for cleaning up spill Some?  You better believe he does that when he’s here.  He also does whatever else needs doing, even if I insist I can manage it on my own when we both know there is no way I’m getting it done because of lupus.

So they will probably never make a movie about the type of hero that Beloved is.  That’s okay, he knows he is my hero just by being himself.


Big Purple Wall Called Lupus

I hit a wall today.  A large, brick, solid wall.  A wall I could see well before I hit it.  You’d think I would have stopped, or slowed down and turned or something, but nope.  I hit the wall, going full speed.

Friends, I didn’t even blink when I hit this wall.  Granted there was no need to blink,after all I did see it coming long before I got there.  Thankfully the only damage was a forced nap, at least that’s the only damage I’ve been able to determine so far.

Clearly this hitting of the wall is my own fault,many equally clear is the fact I keep hitting the wall.  Repeat performance folks, repeat performance.  Yep a slow learner, stubborn or something else.  No matter how you describe it, it comes down to being foolish.

I guess I had assumed that if I burnt my candle at both ends and in the middle (metaphorically because who does that to candles in real life?) I’d be able to be a super lupus warrior and somehow make the lupus rules not apply.  And that wall, that big purple wall called lupus said no way, that’s not how we play.

Id never assume nor ask another lupus patient to keep hitting the wall, so why do I think  that doing this makes me a super heroe?  Especially since every day we live with lupus is a heroic thing.

Some days, getting out of bed should be awarded with a cape and some awesome symbol. Some days getting out of bed s easy.  Some days finding positive is worthy a super peer and other days it’s easier to do.

The obstacles and opportunities that come with lupus may not afford you an awesome cape, or an amazing symbol, but it does give you a super power…the power to keep trying, the power of determination.  There really is no need to hit a wall, and certainly not repeatedly.  So don’t be like me and think that’s how you find your super power!  Now about that nap…

Super Powers With Strings Attached

I stumbled into the bedroom, flopped on the bed and for a few brief moments I debated just surrendering and giving in.  There is no shame in giving in, not to the cold that was going around.  After all several of my healthy friends had given in, but I’ve spent far too long always fighting against it.

The funny with lupus is that technically one’s own immune system is in overdrive, happily attacking the body it happens to belong to.  This also means that it should be much harder for me to get sick with mere things like the cold.  But to keep lupus under control I take medication to suppress my own immune system and so suddenly my ability to get sick is ever-present.

Now im going to be honest here.  There isn’t a lot of good when you live with lupus, but one of things that is great is how you can make it through cold and flu season with nary a worry.  While others are using disinfectants and such you can breeze through now all.  For a moment you have a super power.  But you can’t keep it, not if you want to live.

Sure life is about balance, and sure we can’t have it, but there are times that it would be nice to have my super power, with no strings attached!