Going Somewhere With No Place In Mind

Sometimes you just need to leave, no destination in mind.  Just hop in the car, climb on your bike, or walk some where.  Just for the sake of going somewhere and getting away from where you currently.  I’m not talking about running away as per say, just a change of scenery for a short period of time.

And sometimes where you end up going, is something more than you expected it to be.  Sometimes it leads to adventure, romance or something new to explore.  I have been blessed to experience that more than once in my life.  Once on the seashores of my own continent and once on the seashores of another.

I’ve been a thousand miles from where I started, heck I’ve been several thousands miles from where I started, and discovered that there was no place that I’d sooner be than where I was at that moment.  Foolishly I have tried to keep those moments for the times when I would need them and be nowhere near the seashore.  I’ve bottled the sea’s water, placed sand in jars and tried to capture it all on video.  It never works out the same.  You cannot recreate the seashores of other places when you haven’t one of your own to work with.

And that’s okay because it makes those moments that much more special.  It makes them so much more precious and dear to the heart.  The trick is to not try to recreate it, to not just take off back to that place you landed and expect it to be the same.  It isn’t possible.  Instead capture those moments in your memory, hold them safe in your heart and open yourself to something new.  Seashores are not required.  Nor are picnics, but I’ve found both to be, well, rather good when it comes to getting some place that I wasn’t at before and enjoying it all the same.


When You Find Something New

The four-footed one has discovered face cloths.  Wet face cloths to be exact.  I should back up a few steps and explain a bit.  It’s been very hot here.  Unusually hot.  Too hot for anyone wearing a fur coat.  Way too hot if the fur coat that is being worn is dark.  So naturally the four-footed one fits neatly into the category someone who is wearing a dark fur coat.

Naturally the four-footed also likes the sun more than the shade.  And refuses to have water out on her. Basically today the four-footed one would wander into the sun, flop down and sun bathe.  She’d get removed to the shade,yet she’d just move herself again.

She was provided oodles of places with water.  A mister was turned on and in a moment of desperation I made s face cloth good and damp with cold water and tossed it on her. Gently dear readers, I tossed it on her gently.  Now some animals like that.  They find it cooling.

The four-footed one though was having none of is.  She shook it off her back, went over to where if fell and proceeded to chew it.  Because she’s that kind of dog.  Unfortunately for me, she has discovered a like for these cloths.  She prefers they are wet, but will chew and roll happily on a dry one all the same.  How do I know you ask.  Because she managed to get ahold for freshly laundered ones and proceeded to have her own little party with them.  I guess when you discover a good thing it’s hard to pass it up.

The Trade-Off

It is inevitable, this aging process.  Just when we have a handle on what we want and where we are going, not to mention how we are doing things, it seems as though the rug starts to get pulled out from under us.  Eye sight wanes in dim light.  Racing the dog isn’t exactly fair anymore as you lose half a step on the dog.  And when did the chairs start to sink down once you get settled in?

I knew I would get old, well it was either that or die young.  The problem with dying young is that you leave so many things left undone.  Sure I know getting old isn’t a picnic.  I can see it because Beloved is going down the path of aging more quickly than I am.  Or rather I should say he has a bit of a head-start on this path compared to myself!

What I wouldn’t give for a bit of that strength, that flexibility and quickness with my maturity.  But of course that can’t be, there has to be a compromise.  In order to gain maturity and dare I say a bit of wisdom we must part with the recklessness of youth.  Perhaps it is that parting with our younger, more flexible, stronger selves that gives us wisdom.

I mean me at twenty would never have bothered to find creative ways to get things off the floor and I doubt Beloved would have been any different either.  But now, now he has the wisdom to use the four-footed one to pick things up (if only she’d bring them back when she was supposed to).  Of course he has also found the wisdom in really stretching out  your toes to use them.  He claims it’s all part of using more of his brain power to find new ways to do things.

I wonder what I will acquire as I get older, what wisdom would come my way or will I still be too immature to be granted any of that type of wisdom?

And Then

When I was young, I would run through gardens and fields, never worrying if they were wet or muddy.  When I was young, I’d find a swing to play on or a tree to climb or a hill to fall back on and watch the clouds waltz their way across the sky.

When I got older I stopped running through gardens and fields.  One’s heels tend to get stuck in soft earth after all.  And mud splatter isn’t the most ideal thing to have on your cloths. When I got older I’d never find time to hop on a swing or climb a tree and watching those clouds make their way across the sky was another indication of how much time had already slipped away from me with, so many things left to accomplish in the day.

And then I got sick.  And in getting sick time stood still and rushed away all at the same time.  I wondered if I’d ever have the energy to make it down a hallway, never mind walk through a field or climb a hill.  And instead of having someone push my swing, would someone be pushing my wheelchair?  The movement of the sun, moon and stars marked time in some surreal way.  Each day and night blending into the one before it as if it didn’t matter so much anymore.

And suddenly I was better-ish.  I was out and about.  I was running, sort of, cringing at the pain I knew was coming my way.  But still I’d do it just to enjoy the perfumes rising from gardens, tangled and unkept as well as though so immaculate you thought even the insects were placed just so.  And in doing so, I set aside a timetable to get things accomplished.  Things would get done as they would, based on what I had time for.

I left my heels long in some forgotten box, enjoyed the rain and the mud.  Forced Beloved to tell me what he saw as he too gazed up into the sky and wouldn’t settle for answers such as “rain clouds” or “coming storms”.  Maybe, just maybe, by being sick I found a bit of a rabbit hole to go down.  No I didn’t see Alice or the Mad Hatter, but I did find a way to grasp back the simple pleasures that I had enjoyed as  a child.

Around The Lake

The faint smell of wood smoke rode in on the slight breeze.  Had the breeze been any stronger I’m not certain we’d be walking down this path.  It would have been too cold be far to enjoy the walk.

As t was the our four-footed companion seemed to have the entire area to herself.  At least as far as other dogs were concerned.  She did encounter a few ducks just sitting on the water near where a feeding station was set up.  The Ducks were either too relaxed or too cold to care when she approached their feed.  There were squirrels and birds n the trees, but they stayed out of our reach.  Towards the far side of the water a pair of swans were gliding together.

It was as if the chill in the air managed to slow down the animals, none of them seemed to mind e four-footed one’s rushing too and fro.  The ignored the crashing and thudding of Beloved’s feet as she pulled him along.  I limped along slowly behind them, my joints stiff and sore.  I wondered which of the two of them would be more muddy, and did we bring enough towels.  But then I stopped caring and just focused on one foot in front of the other as I walked with lupus.

Beloved and the four-footed one did the loop around the lake twice before I had even finished half way around.  Beloved’s shoes were a bit muddy, but his cheeks had a red glow and the smile that covered his face said everything was good in their world.

We finished the way around, me still going slow and steady, Beloved and the four-footed one content now that they had explored the areas and found what needed finding. Initially we had planned to let her spend as long as she wanted at the water, but my slowness and the cold made us change our minds.  She had managed two and a half good loops and would probably rest on the drive home.

Beloved set the car up, grabbed a blanket for me and off we went.  His chilled hands gripped the steering wheel while I had the blanket across my sore legs, the dog resting on top of the blanket.  We’d stop for some apples before we made it home, but only Beloved would get out of the car.  And at home, I already knew that the four-footed one and I would slowly make it up the stairs to rest on the bed while Beloved found himself some food.

I had hoped that walking with lupus would make me feel better, or at least move lupus to the back seat, but it gave lupus energy it seems.  And so now I rest.  Just as the four-footed one rests from al her rushing about.

It Can’t Be Lupus

Yesterday’s outing has left me with an odd rash, on the side of my neck.  It doesn’t itch, frankly it hurts.  I’m not sure what caused it, but this morning when I awoke it was there.

Beloved suggested it was part of lupus, but in all my battles with the illness, I’ve never had this type of rashes a result of the sun or what have you interacting with lupus.  This is something else.  I thought perhaps I had brushed up against some type of plant while we were out.  Except I was never close enough to even reach out and touch a single leaf.

Beloved suggested if not lupus nor a plant then surely a bug must have caused it.  And the truth is it could be from a bug.  There were plenty of them swarming around and what with the deer and foxes around perhaps that is what it is.

Of course neither Beloved nor our four-footed companion show any signs of being at all worse for the ware after the outing.  Nope only me.  And I have a rash, swollen knees and a suddenly overwhelming sense of being cold as a reminder from our walks yesterday.

I can account for the swollen knees and cold feeling as part of doing too much, as bring lupus related. But the rash?  No, and it can’t be lupus.  Only because just once I want it not to be lupus!


Ice Cold Fun

Who knew ice cubes could be so amazing?  Sure they cool your drink on a hot day.  And yes they can help make jello thicken faster with their magic cooling power.  And let’s not forget about their numbing effect when placed, after being wrapped up, on a bruise or swollen body.

But until,today I had no idea that one, simple ice-cube could be so amazing. The four-footed one decided today was the day to avoid her water dish.  It also happened to be very warm.  So I decided to give her an ice-cube. I placed it in her water dish, which evidently was the wrong thing to do.

She fished it out with her paw and proceeded to get push it all over the ground with her nose.  Now and then she would lick the ice-cube before pushing it  bit more.  Soemtimes she licked up the melted puddling bits off the ground. When it became a very small fraction of its former self, she picked it up in her mouth and happily crunched it up.

The one ice-cube had not only given her liquid to drink, but a toy to play with while she got exercise.  And she practiced her fishing skills too!