It was one of hose days, the kind where you just want to stay inside and curl up with a book, a nice cup,of coffee and let the dog curl up on your feet. Of course if you are Beloved, you do none of these things. Instead you let me curl up with a book while you take over the kitchen.
Beloved spent over 12 hours in the kitchen today preparing delicious meals for the freezer as well as other side of be consumed now. Oh and snacks. He made snacks and cookie before he cleaned the kitchen. He took inventory of the kitchen and created a grocery list. He packaged, wrapped and stored food.
When he was done, he dropped down beside met with a sigh. He pulled me close again t his chest and just sat there, holding me while we watched out the window. To him it was a near perfect day, and to be honest I am not going to complain either. I mean he created delicious food while I read. He cleaned while I made notes. And while he held me, I rested safe and secure against his chest. It was, in fact, a perfect day for arms. Beloved’s arms.
We founds a box of things I had packed at some point. It was full of I don’t know what, but surely wonderful things. I’m positive that’s what Beloved was saying. It was just lupus messing with my hearing that made it sound like he was saying “where are we going to put this”. I’m sure of it! 😉
In all fairness I had done a poor job of culling before shipping! It can’t be helped because all my stuff is, well, stuff I need! 😉 And George Carlin had it right when he did his routine on stuff and how you have it spread out all over the place and ultimately it’s still your stuff. And of course you need all that stuff, even if it’s just in storage. Because we are nothing without stuff.
I don’t know what it is about stuff, but without it I feel incomplete, naked somehow. Stuff completes me, makes me whole. Maybe I see it as a status symbol, maybe I’m a bit like an a hermit crab and need it bring it with me.
but I don’t think I’m all that unusual in this regard. I think most people have certain things, certain stuff, that they need. Be it for comfort or what have you. Little children have blankets, stuffed animals and such they need. Some adults need music, and some, like me need books.
when we opened the box of fun things, it was books. This isn’t a tough one after all. It was a box of cook books, so Beloved immediately sat down to go through and start to plan meals. And suddenly there was no concern about where to put my stuff because it was suddenly acceptable stuff in his eyes!
Lately it seems even when in I do my harbor for the coming tempest, I still drift away. It isn’t a case of lack battening down hatches, securing the ropes and ensuring the anchor is in the water.
It is as if the rip tide and tugging winds are greater than my measures of securement. I find myself drifting further out than expected, the anchor line drawn tight to the point of almost snapping.
I always find this to be the case when I’ve basically settled somewhere, the water and the wind call to me, as though I may have settled a bit too soon. It seems that there is more of the world that demands I see it, demands I not get too comfortable.
Thankfully Beloved doesn’t mind this habit off mine. He offers shelter from the coming storm, helps untangle lines and cut me free. He simply waits for me to come backs om is harbor, he lets me drift when I need to, sometimes we drift together and other times alone. He pulls me into shelter when I ignored the storm and he sees how I get tangled up in myself long before I do. When this happens, he untangles me or cuts me free. It is as if he is always one wave ahead of me.