This year there shall be no pumpkin to carve. Not due to a pumpkin shortage, at least not here. From a quick check in the local grocery stores there is the typically glut of pumpkins around this time. And the lack of pumpkin carving is also not a direct result of Beloved not being here.
This year there shall be no pumpkin to carve simply because I have neither the strength nor the energy to acquiring said pumpkin at the store. I have no strength to schlep with said pumpkin to the car and then from the car to my house. And I certainly do not have the desire to use a somehow suddenly inadequate knife to carve into the innocent pumpkin’s flesh.
Plus, there is the four-footed one to consider. Or rather one must consider her response to the pumpkin. Just thinking about it, I shudder as I imagine her getting into the pumpkin innards that are scooped out for carving. Knowing her they would be scattered all throughout the house and ground into her fur.
Consider said pumpkin having a candle in it. Now picture the four-footed one, curious yet slightly cowed by this new thing. Yep you probably have pictured a barking mad dog, followed by a charging dog. And well I do not mind a good fire now and then, this isn’t’ the type of fire I have in mind. I have no desire to call my home insurance company and explain how a house fire was started by a dog. A dog charging at a pumpkin she was afraid of. I have no desire to be told that this falls under one of those million and ten acts that is not covered by my insurance because I’ve yet to come across a clause for fires started accidently by curious and frightened dogs.
So, no, this year there shall be no pumpkin in the house to carve. And yes, I know some of you will say that I should still acquire the pumpkin and have it just there on the steps. Except again, consider a curious and somewhat skittish dog. I do not need to go tumbling down a flight of steps and breaking my neck because the dog got scared and I ended up tangled up in her and the leash. And again, I’m pretty sure that my insurance doesn’t cover these types of things. So this year I say bah humbug to pumpkins and jack-o-laterns.