Fancy Dress Or Costume, Which Is It

Beloved tugged at the loose neck of his old, well-worn t-shirt as he read the card in his hand.  You would think, based on his behavior, that his shirt was strangling him to death, but the shirt is so worn it long ago lost its shape.  It was the card, or rather what was on the card that was making him behave so oddly.

The four-footed one is far more curious than I am so I left to her to get him to share.  Which he did the minute she instead on sticking her small, hard and persistent head repeatedly between him and the card.  When the four-footed one demands attention she is nothing if not persistent!  And as is almost always the case, Beloved gave her the attention she so dearly wanted!  Our four-footed one can be a of the jealous sort now and then!

As he was giving her ears a rub, he told me he had been summoned to his niece’s wedding.  Now Beloved is far from being an only child and he is rather younger than the majority of his siblings.  He mother refers to him as a “lovely wee surprise”.  Anyway his sister closest in age to him had sent an invitation to her youngest daughter’s wedding.  She has five children, all of them girls.

The wedding, he said with a look of doom on his face, was to be a special affair, with a Marie Antoinette theme to it.  Now me not having all the pieces to puzzle, could not fathom why he was so down in the mouth since he could simply decline and send a lovely gift. I know it may seem tacky to some of you but I should point out Beloved is not overly close to this niece and it is her fourth attempt at wedded bliss.  So naturally I voiced my thoughts out loud only to corners of his mouth hit the floor as he said, “oh I’m to be part of the wedding”.

An image of him wearing a huge and very bouffant wig popped into my head causing me to giggle. He was not amused by my giggling nor the image that I shared with him.  I’m sure he would have found the humor if he wasn’t fuming over having to be dressed like a groomsman from the royal court. And I missed his inability to find humor in his mandate attire.  Possibly what allowed me to find the humor was knowing I wasn’t I wasn’t invited and therefore spared the dress made out of heavy drapery material and bouffant wig.

An hour or so after the pall of doom was cast upon Beloved by the opening and reading of said card he looked at me and said he simply wasn’t going.  He was too old for this type of thing Andy besides he hadn’t attended three previous weddings for this girl.  He had evidently sent her and her mother an email explaining all of this.

And then he joined me in fits of giggles over imagery and other such thoughts knowing that he was free from having to wear tight stockings and slippers for shoes!

Invitation Seasons And Lupus

A friend told me she has several  wedding invitations already for late spring and summer.  Another friend shared that she has a few requests for cabin/lake time as well as beach time.  Beloved also has received invitations for various outings for spring and summer, and like most people he won’t be able to attend all of them so he will have to make choices.

There was a time in my life when I had all these invites as well, however having to miss so many things due to health issues and such the invitations slowly die out.  I don’t blame people for this, I mean at some point you get tired of a certain someone cancelling on you last-minute.  No matter how understanding you are, it gets tiresome.  I understand that.

The thing is, being the person who is always cancelling at the last-minute I also find these last-minute cancellations to be tiring.  I’m tired of not knowing until the very last moment if I will be able to attend a gathering.  Sometimes I lose the energy while I’m getting ready, such as doing my hair or getting dressed.  Other times I wake up and just know I can’t make it.

But as I said, cancelling gets tiring to, as does the whole sense of being isolated.  So often  times I will push myself to go out and deal with the aftermath as needed.  Unfortunately that has meant being short-tempered, snarky and such with friends and loved ones; pain never brings out the best of me.

On one hand it would be better to just stay away from anything that requires an invitation and such for both my sanity and those I care about.  On the other hand no one wants to be ignored.  Except when there are a million wedding and party invitations during the beautiful days of spring and summer!

Invitation To A Lupus Party, Sort Of…

Beloved headed out for a small gathering with friends, taking the puppy with him and leaving me with the whole house to myself.  A still and peaceful house.  A house where the doors can be left open and items left on the floor with no fear of a four-footed terror examining things with her mouth.

Ah yes the joys of puppy-hood! 😊  Not a sock, not a sheet, nothing gets past her keen eyes sight and exploratory bites.  It makes the days we do the beds a little more entertaining to be sure.  But it’s not change the bedding day in the house.  No, that’s not why Beloved left me alone in an empty house.

Our friends had planned this gathering months earlier.  A birthday celebration combined with the celebration of a PhD awarded.  A low-key affair where children of all kinds are nvited…yes including the four-footed kind.  But not low-key enough to allow me to show up in bed, which is basically where the bulk of the day has been spent.

You see lupus is having a celebration all,of its own.  The location?  My body.  The theme?  Mass pain and inflammation.  The antidote?  Meds in mass courses and rest.  Hordes of rest.  Hence the not going to the party.  Hence the staying in bed with meds.  Hence the puppy going to the party with Beloved.

The Problem With Too Perfect, or My Neighbor’s Yard

My neighbor has the most incredible yard.  The grass is a soft, lush carpet that tickles between your toes when you take it up on its invitation to walk barefoot amongst its cool blades.  The fountain burbles happily in harmony with the song birds, with just the right amount of noise.  The flowers, oh how sweet the scent is that they release into the air, beckoning you to follow your nose.

To be honest my neighbor’s yard is almost too perfect in its perfection.  From a distance you can’t believe it’s all real, and yet it is.  The green grass, is in fact cut precisely  so and the edges trimmed with scissors.  Dead flowers and leaves are immediately removed so as not to interfere with the vibrancy of the living plants.  Rachel venting the fountain and the bird bath are scrubbed to maintain a nice clean glow.  Furniture gets wiped down daily, sometimes more than once and water markets are polished off the tables.

My neighbor takes great delight in the harmony and beauty she has been able to help cultivate.  She says keeping it pristine and lively is healing for her, a cheap and natural form of therapy that is far above any man-made type.  She says the soil, water, sunshine and wind all play a key role in keeping things looking as they should.  Nature, she points out, always provides what is needed.  I have a feeling she thinks the extravagant measure some people take to find perfection within their yards is missing the point since nothing can, in her mind, surpass the luxury of nature’s simple beauty.

Granted some would call trimming the grass with scissors a bit much and what’s wrong with the water spots left as proof to nature’s touch?  But to me the continual removing of the dead things is unnatural, as if to defy the cycle of life and acknowledge the beauty in death that nature presents.  Nothing ever dies without some amazing show, the end of life being the last vibrant burst of color or scent.  To remove the dead flowers is, in some unnatural for surely they still have work to do.  And without meaning to, the remind me to live each day to its fullest, in full color.  They remind me that life passes by whether we spend our time living it fully or conservatively in the shadows.

My yard, by comparison may have grass, but it’s nothing compared to my neighbor’s.  My riot of colors provided by plants and flowers that form their own haphazardously display is eye-catching in its own chaotic way.  Just because my yard will never be thing of envy in the way my neighbor’s is, doesn’t make it any less.  Any less colorful, beautiful, inviting or magical.  All in its own way.

Summer, Weddings and Lupus

Summer: the season of outdoor living, beaches, grilling, things growing road trips and weddings. Oh yes, the wedding season, least we forget it there are invitations floating on the breeze. 🙂

Wedding invitations are lovely things, a chance to share the joyous moments with dear friends and loved ones. A chance to dress up and let loose, if that’s how you roll.

So far we have had received seven requests for our presence at various weddings. Three are being held on the same day, each in a different country. We won’t be attending any of those three, logistically it would be a nightmare not to mention there is the small matter of a schedule IV treatment for me.

As a matter of fact, this wedding season is one I’m sitting out. Under doctor’s orders.

Beloved has decided he needs to attend two of these weddings as they are both involve his close friends getting married. There is a part of me that is relieved to sit this season out. Mostly my feet. 🙂

I hope my friends understand because sometimes lupus gets me the way of ordinary things. If not, I guess I can ask them to move their wedding to my hospital room! 🙂