A Touchy Subject

One of my doctors has done away with magazines in his office. I thought it had to do with germs and all those different people touching the magazines. So naturally while we were chatting, as this doctor is want to do, I asked about the lack of the magazines.

I was prepared for the germ discussion, even the fact that most people now use digital devices to occupy themselves while waiting. Needless to say when my doctor said he was tired of paying for magazines that would be damaged with pages being ripped out of them or for the whole thing to go missing was the real reason why he put a stop to them.

He said that for years he had been paying for people to basically steal from him or destroy his property and he never said a thing. His office manager, at one point, put up a sign telling people the magazines were there for everyone to enjoy so please leave them in the place and condition you found them in. I honestly don’t remember that sign, but since I don’t touch magazines or books in the medical offices, I wouldn’t necessarily have noticed it.

He asked me how often I clean my phone/phone case since that is exposed to the public and when I told him how often (like all the time) he said that it made sense why I asked about the magazines and immediately thought of germs etc.

Was I always like this? I don’t really know. As far as I can remember I was, but I am pretty sure that a good portion of this has become magnified and now seems to just be how I am when in fact it came in with lupus. Not that lupus itself makes you become aware of germs, more or less the medication that you may take to knockdown your immune system makes you more aware.

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Super Powers With Strings Attached

I stumbled into the bedroom, flopped on the bed and for a few brief moments I debated just surrendering and giving in.  There is no shame in giving in, not to the cold that was going around.  After all several of my healthy friends had given in, but I’ve spent far too long always fighting against it.

The funny with lupus is that technically one’s own immune system is in overdrive, happily attacking the body it happens to belong to.  This also means that it should be much harder for me to get sick with mere things like the cold.  But to keep lupus under control I take medication to suppress my own immune system and so suddenly my ability to get sick is ever-present.

Now im going to be honest here.  There isn’t a lot of good when you live with lupus, but one of things that is great is how you can make it through cold and flu season with nary a worry.  While others are using disinfectants and such you can breeze through now all.  For a moment you have a super power.  But you can’t keep it, not if you want to live.

Sure life is about balance, and sure we can’t have it, but there are times that it would be nice to have my super power, with no strings attached!