A huge sigh filled the air. THe kind of sigh that was full of unsaid words, unmentioned worries and unresolved problems. It was, in fact, the kind of sigh Beloved has gotten rather good at doing. One might even call it second nature to him.
It had become the beginning of his conversations, the end of his discussions and the way he filled the silence. And he wasn’t even aware he was doing it.
Sadly, I was the reason for this sighing of his. It wasn’t intentional on my part, not in the least. It was, however, a side effect to me rushing headlong into my life with lupus while still having a career and such. This meant that at times I forgot to tell him things.
Fine, since we are al friends here, it meant occasionally missing an appointment or medication times. Which yes, I know, isn’t always the most responsible thing or ideal for my health. And this, of course, is the reason for the sighs.
And as the sigh filled the air I felt s though I had disappointed him. Even though this time there wasn’t any cause for him to do that. And so my impatience rose with him as well. I wanted him to just day what he needed to say.
So he moved into the conversation and all was well. Until the end, when he suggested perhaps a small nap might be in order. As he put it, you know a bit of rest with lupus wouldn’t be bad. It’s not that he was wrong, but good heavens. I wanted to sigh and tell him to leave it. I didn’t because sighing is his field of expertise. Mine seems to be not following rules and such.