Childish Fears, Adult Nightmares

When I was a young child there were many unknown things to be wary of, including strangers. There were monsters with many eyes, others with multiple legs and still others that could fly. All of them seemed to meet up under my bed or in my closet when I should have been asleep. Naturally they’d disappear the minute a light was turned on or a parent came into the room, but I knew they were just hiding, waiting for the lights to go out again. I’m sure my parents got exhausted checking to prove there were no monsters hiding anywhere in my room. Just as I grew tired worrying about how far under all the sheets I needed to be just to hide from them at the foot of the bed.

Even worse for my parents was the that monsters liked to migrate during the day, sometimes slipping through the vents to the basement. And once they were down there, they’d just wait patiently, probably listening with anticipation for the moment my mother would send me down to fetch something. On trembling legs, tip toes only touching the floor, I’d try to stretch myself out as long as I could, so I could hit the lights without being down in the dark too far or too long. Once I had the requested item, I’d slap the light switch off, pound up those stairs with my heart right in my ears. I knew it was a close call, the monsters had just about gotten me, but I was fast.

At some point my mother got tired of my feet slamming on the stairs as I ran back up, just as she grew impatient with how slowly I’d make my way down those same stairs. My father would just shake his head and tell me not to stomp in his house. As though somehow he thought there were no monsters down in the basement. Of course he spent time down there alone so for all I know he may have made a deal with those monsters. They’d give him his space and he’d give them there.

They weren’t able to prove there were no monsters out in the bigger world though as I recall a young boy going missing when I started school. He was almost the same age as me and he just disappeared one day when he should have been walking home from school. I remember my mother reminding me of the importance to not stray from my path home and not to go with people I did not know. It was the first time I realized that there were things that could not be chased away by opening a door, or turning on a light.

I remember when they found the little boy, only because my mother seemed to hug me tighter and not let me out of her sight as much. I also remember my mother and father talking about how kids should just be safe to go to school, come home and play the way it was when my parents were young. I didn’t know that these horrors were old, that children had gone missing ever since children came into existence.

And as the fields I wandered in grew larger and further from home I realized that there were more monsters than I could ever have imagined on my own. And no amount of pounding feet or standing on tiptoes can keep us safe. No shining lights, checking under the covers or opening and closing a door can make those monsters disappear. Instead we can only hope we are prepared and able to avoid them at the same time.

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My So Called Fairytale Life

Once upon a time there was a princess who lived, quite naturally in a castle. The castle was, of course, located in a beautiful setting where there was never any “bad” weather or fearsome animals. The princess wasn’t lonely, not exactly, but she sensed something was missing from her life, that is when she was awake. You see not only was the princess trapped in the castle, but she had been poisoned with a sleeping potion that left her much like a narcoleptic.

At the same time, in a distance land, a prince had come back from a quest just as he had many times before. Only this time he came back feeling as though something was missing. Perhaps questing was becoming too routine, which would never do. So he sought the advice of a wise-man who was also the keeper of secret knowledge. The wise-man told the prince that he needed a more challenging quest, as he had mastered slaying dragons and finding lost treasure.

The wise-man, after a few drinks, pulled out his magical sphere to consult with the All Knowing One to find out what the prince needed to do next. The All Knowing One told the wise-man that the prince had to rescue a princess of course. Once he rescued a princess the prince would be complete and much happily ever after would ensue.

So the wise-man consulted with woodland friends to learn about princesses in need of rescuing. He heard of a princess who lived in a beautiful land far far away. This princess was trapped in a lovely castle with no way to get out on her own. She, the wise-man discovered, was who the prince needed to rescue.

So a GoFundMe page was set up to help finance the prince’s latest quest (the celebration from the last quest had resulted in the found treasure being lost again…to bill collectors this time) and when the amount was reached the prince set off to rescue the trapped princess. Along the way there were many obstacles, such as construction, one-way paths and a spotty magical positioning system. But the prince would not be deterred from his quest.

Meanwhile back at the castle the trapped princess awoke again, and once more started to search for a way out. As she sat down wearily on the floor to see if there was any trapped door the potion took hold once more.

By the time the prince overcame all the obstacles and arrived at the castle, the princess had managed to fight off the potion, which had clearly been placed in her tea and now that she had finished all the tea and it was no longer in her system she was wide awake. The princess was able to shout down to the prince that the door was stuck in the jamb and she couldn’t get out.

After a few shows of strength and a million uttered unpleasant words, the prince was able to get the door unstuck and rescue the princess.

And…well that story is the same as mine, minus all the sleeping and the whole castle thing. Well unless you accept that a person’s house is his/her castle. And the prince didn’t consult a wise-man. Okay so the doors have needed fixing for a while and today the decided to get stuck while I was in the house. Beloved had to come and force the doors open and the happily ever after? We are getting new doors! 🙂

The Cycle Of Did I Do That?

Someone recently asked if Beloved does anything right given my complaints about the refrigerator door and empty tissue rolls.  The truth is he does a lot more right than annoying, however the good stuff is taken for granted.  Which yes, I know, is wrong.

Beloved, of course, has his list of things that I do that can be super annoying too!😮

While he may try to turn the kitchen into a haven for penguins, I apparently do not close the cabinets completely in their catches.  In my defense it’s so the Penguins have a safe place to go!😉

It is, of course, a fair comment on his part because I don’t often close the doors right in the catch.  I dislike the noise, even though it’s just a small little click sound.  When I was younger, my parents knew exactly which cabinet I had been in because I  never closed it all the way.  So yes, guilty as charged.

To him it doesn’t make sense why I closed the door  until it just about catches, but stop before that point.  Thus the door is left slightly ajar.  Which, unbeknownst to men, so apparently is a major invitation to spiders.  Yes friends,a slightly open cabinet or cupboard door is simply irresistible to spiders.  It’s like a drug that they just have to have! Helpless they are drawn to it like a moth to a flame.

Before you say anything, yes I do not like spiders.  I really do not like them in my house, lurking around my pantry items.

Which leads me to my next annoying thing, which is grabbing Beloved, if he is around, to deal with the spider.  He will kill it, or flush it down the toilet, which he calls a white water ride! 😊

Now considering I’ve called the man to dispatch of said spider, whom I’ve unwittingly invited into the house, you’d think I wouldn’t care what he does with the creature.  But you’d be wrong.  Nope you see I dont want the spider killed, just set free.

some of you are now seeing a cycle beginning starting with open cabinet doors….end ing with a spider sent outside just to be invited in again!