Do you ever want a do over or mulligan for those of you who are golf oriented? In the course of my life I’ve had several times where I wanted that one back, or this one to do over. It happens due to the rush of time, not paying attention and a whole other bag of reasons. But I think now if someone were to ask me if I wanted to have one to do over it wouldn’t so much be my life, but my reaction to my health.
I know you can’t wave a magic wand and make lupus disappear. There is no magic pill, diet or place to go that will cure from this illness. There is just a whole bunch of things to try. Some of it works for some people and fails for others. Something might work for a little while and then suddenly lose the effectiveness that made it so wonderful. You just have to roll with the punches as best you can. It’s frankly a bit a dance contest where the music keeps changing and thus influencing what you dance and how you do it.
It’s tiring and never-ending. So if I could have something to do over it would be how I’ve reacted to my health in the past. I might change some of the decisions I made when I was younger and thought I could just show lupus I was stronger than it. I might have sat a few of the dances out rather than trying to prove to everyone that I was perfectly fine and completely healthy. I may have not been as cavalier as I as with some of the choices I made when it came to treatment or travel (I’ve been known to skip treatment if a trip was planned prior to the treatment being offer).
Of course if I was granted a chance to do over there would be a ripple effect. That is to say that the one I changed at a specific moment in my life would spill over and impact other aspects which could result with me not being where I am now. And although I complain about some of the aspects of my current life, there’s more that I truly appreciate and am grateful for. So let’s just skip the mulligan for now and perhaps not count the strokes as closely. We can come back to that later on.