Bugging The Bugs

When the blood sucking bugs come out, it’s a wonderfully awful time for me.  I don’t know many people who enjoy a blood sucking bug, and I’m really not a fan of them.  However I do enjoy the fact that when said bug lands on me and decides to sample my blood, the bug is in for a nasty surprise.  

You see having lupus means taking some pretty toxic drugs.  The kind of drugs that alter your blood.  The type,of drugs that means medical staff take extra precautions when drawing your blood.  Yeah that kind of blood.  So when the blood sucking bug takes my blood, well the bug is getting a toxic meal.  And I assume, but cannot prove, that this really doesn’t bode well for the bug.

I envision the bug exploding in mid air thanks to that toxic mix flowing through its body.  Again I have no proof, but a girl can hope based on the imagination.  Listen when you spend as much time as I do getting drugs like chemo, you have plenty of time to imagine things.

I like to think that this is part of my public service, being their last meal and all.  And that’s just one of the cool things I’ve found with lupus, even if it’s only part of my imgaination.


So Little Time, So Much To Explore

Some people like to explore ideas, concepts or the world through touching, watching and doing.  Some people like to explore the world through the written word and others still by listening to others.  Most people tend to lean towards a combination of ways to explore and understand things.

And then, well then there is the four-footed one’s approach to exploring the world.  She is a watcher and a doer, but mostly she explores through the sense of touch.  And by touch I mean using her tongue.  I’m pretty certain the  world, to her, is divided into two camps:  food and not food.

The way to know if something is food or not is to touch it. With at least your tongue.  But it’s even better if you can get the whole thing in your mouth, give it a feel and a small chew.  All in the name of exploration of course.  And so leaves, paper, thread and dirt have all been explored this way. As has grass, bark and rocks.

Now she’s moved onto other items:  dozing wasps and bees, beetles and slugs.  And now spiders.  So far only spiders are clearly in the food category.  A delicacy even based on her desire to continue to eat them and actively search them out.  I might even go far enough as to say they are the most desirous thing in her diet right now and it’s not for lack of me providing her food.

Now if I could only teach her that the whole world doesn’t need to be explored so vigorously.

Smell That

The smell of something delicious, if you happen to be the four-footed one, can be found in a multitude of places.  From mud found in the garden all the way to up to the neighbor’s tree all house see tantalizing aromas.  Thick, tall grasses seem to hide special orders that can not be resisted despite what your human may say.

For me delicious aromas tend to come from certain places, like the kitchen or a bakery.  Restaurants may tempt me the same as certain stores.  But the neighbor’s tree has never offered me anything that smells delicious.  And no matter what may be in the tall grasses, I’m okay not seeking out a tasty morsel from there.

Sure my attitude probably has me missing out on some things, but I’m okay with that,  the same as I’m okay not eating bugs, at least not deliberately eating them.  And I don’t care if the bugs taste like chicken or chocolate, I am okay on missing out if it’s a deliberate  choice.

So when a friend invited us out to a new place to eat, one that served things like meal worm pizzas and cricket poppers, we did not hesitate. Nope not for me second.  We politely declined.  Because we, after all, are not like the four-footed one.  And yes we know it’s a good source of protein, but we aren’t at the place yet where we can consider consumption of the bugs as an every day occurrence.  And yes I know I eat bug parts every day, but it’s hidden from me.  I’m okay with that. Because delicious aromas aren’t found up trees or in the grass, not for me.


Some days you are the windshield of the car, other days you are the bug hitting then windshield of the aforementioned car, which by the way is moving when you hit it. But these days I’m beginning to feel more and more like the window wipers trying to clean up the mess after the water has been spritzed onto the window.

If you have ever driven a car at a high rate of speed when it’s hot outside, sunny even, and there are lots of insects know the mess I’m talking about. And if you have ever tried to use your window wipers on to clean that mess up you also know what I’m talking about. The bug splatter tends to get smeared further along the window.

You get desperate as a driver, so you push for more water to hit the shield and try to play the fun game of get the wiper speed just right so that it doesn’t leave such horrible smears. And you continue to do this until you realize it’s all in vain. The window cannot get clean that way.

You realize you will have to stop off at a service station and use their squeegee thing to clean the window, or even better, hit the car wash and power those bug bits off the car. Because if you are like me, there have been times when you haven’t been able to get the window cleaned in time. And the sun bakes the bits of bugs more. Magically those bug bits seem to become part of the window, never fully removed, and always in an annoying place. But that’s another story.

As I was saying, lately I’ve been feeling like the window wipers on a clean up duty that I’m not really suited to do. I have tried to alter my approach and speed as well as my technique all to no avail. The mess remains, taunting me about my inability to manage such a small thing. It should be so easy and yet for a million and one different reasons easy it is not.

Maybe you are like me, like those wipers, trying to keep up with the demand for things when you aren’t’ really the right tool to clean that mess up. I’d suggest waiting for a good rain or a car wash to do the proper clean up, but I know that your life is probably like everyone else’s and there just isn’t always the luxury of the car wash nor is there always the possibility of a good rain.

So if you have any tips on how to not become a worn out wiper blade, one that is ragged and demotivated, not to mention exhausted, I’m all ears!

Going Out…If My Mind

I must be a bit out of my mind; there is simply no other reason for it and it is of course me agreeing to look up at the evening sky in the middle of nowhere for the whole night. Middle of nowhere my friends means no indoor plumbing, no hot water, and no creature comforts of indoors. Just the creatures from the great outdoors, no doubt a little upset that you have invaded their space.

To set this up for you, earlier today a rather frantic text made its way across my phone. This frantic text read: April 11th full moon & other sights u in. That was the extent of the text; followed by: need to know ASAP. And that was it, someone waiting for an almost immediate yes or no decision. What’s a girl to do? I like the mysteries of the moon. I love the evening sky and how dark it is, yet how soft it appears. And all those amazing sights just waiting for us to see them. So of course I said yes.

It was hours later that I got the rest of the message in an email, which in part read, “meet me at the science hall at 1700 and we will make our way out to the place. Bring sensible shoes, have a jacket and maybe a sweater, viewing equipment, bug spray, a chair if you want for comfort. Jack will be cooking up hotdogs (umm no thank you) and marshmallows (yes please) and there will be lots of bottles of water.” Okay…so wait. This whole watching the night sky sounded like things were about to get more…outdoorsy. Sensible shoes and a jacket plus maybe a sweater, this sounds definitely outdoorsy. Bug spray, too outdoors for me. And free bottles of water just means that which goes in must come out at some point so of course I had to mention this in a reply back. I was informed there were portable facilities, all very rustic. (Gulp!)

Still there is time to say sorry, I misunderstood. Sorry I’m allergic to bugs, or rustic portable facilities and therefore will have to rescind my yes. Or do I suck it up and tough out the bugs, the smelly, awful portable facilities and hope that the evening sky out in the middle of nowhere more than makes up for it? I should have asked questions first, that’s what I normally do so you see, and I may in fact have been a bit out of my right mind when I said yes. Or am I overreacting?

Biting Wenches

Today I called a female a wench.   I know, not like me, but it was in a moment of distress.  Sort of.  Well okay distress in a minor sense.  As in not really distress except that despite planning and careful purchasing it still happened.  So distressing for me and startling for my friend who thought the “would you leave me alone wench” was directed at her.

You see friends I had planned to avoid the mosquitos this year.  I had all the latest gadgets and felt calm and sure that they would be incredibly by all my stuff.  I was wearing a battery-powered mosquito repellant so as not to have to wear the unpleasant but spray.  I had even rubbed myself with a citronella lotion.  And still friends the wench of a mosquito got me.

So I killed her because clearly my request for her to leave me alone went I headed.  So she simply had to die.  And then I brought out the heavy stuff, the smoking coils and peat.  These things work like a charm to keep the biting blood suckers at bay, but there is a price to pay that I had been hoping to avoid.  You see the smoke irritates my eyes.

If it were at all possible I’d kill the mosquito wench again, but it’s a bit hard to do.  Not just because I can’t kill that which is already dead, but my eyes keep tearing up making it hard to see things like mosquito wenches.  So instead I headed indoors.  To plan my next approach, because I refuse to be out smarted by mosquito wenches.  Although I suspect I may have already lost this one…

Sharing, Caring With Germs and Bugs And Me

When I was young and had a cold, I would of course be miserable.  Well miserable until I realized I could share my misery.  Then I’d brighten up and happily sing out “plaaaaaague” as I ran around touching things and people! 😐

Yeah I know, a bit strange, but what kid isn’t a bit strange?   I mean if an adult were to do the same thing there’d be issues.  But a kid?  Well you expect that sort of thing from a kid!

And in all fairness I grew up being told that sharing was good so really wasn’t that exactly what I was doing?  Sharing and thus doing good works?  Besides all my friends were doing it too.  Heck my whole class would basically swap germs and bugs back and forth happily because, sharing is caring.  Best of all those same germs and bugs would be brought home to share and mix with our families.

Our families would sometimes take the bugs and germs with them to their offices and such and thus the gift kept giving.  Looking back I’m certain my parents didn’t feel the same way as I did as far as sharing germs and such being a good thing.  However there was this thing called work.  Because there was these things called bills and apparently they fit into this thing known as the vicious cycle.

Adults would work to pay for bills of stuff they bought because they needed it, sometimes they needed it for work since clothing was not optional, but mandatory.  So they bought that and then they had bills so off to work they’d  go in the clothes they bought for work and well you get the idea.

Adults, apparently, were expected to go to work and get on with it.  No staying home sick with someone taking care of you.  Nope.  Just struggle through it and thus like it or not they shared it with other adults.

Times have changed and now people in the offices get that sharing isn’t caring when it comes to bugs and germs.  Most companies get this and don’t expect really sick adults to go to work.  And some adults have decided to push the idea of sick as far as they can, which means those who are sick have to prove it.  Because we still have vicious cycles in our lives.  And because kids will still think sharing is caring when it comes to germs.

As an adult I’ve been blessed to work with employers who have understood the issues around lupus and oodles of doctor appointments and sick time.  I’ve also been un-blessed to work with employers who told me to be sick on my own time.  Because lupus and other serious, as well as minor, illnesses just need a stern talking to so they remember to respect the hours on the clock.  Pretty sure the same deal works on the plaaaaaague!

And I’m pretty sure kids will share bugs and germs, their parents will share it with coworkers and some bosses/companies will be reasonable around staying home if you are sick versus work until you drop.  And maybe in the midst of it all lupus will get bored and disappear! 😉

But until then, I hope my coworkers get it when I keep a massive distance between myself and them.  Especially if they have children.  Because germs and bugs bring the best,umm, worst in lupus and it wouldn’t be fair if I had that whole combination going on and couldn’t share it in all of its glory!😉