The Day My Disease Caused A Moment Of Unease

One of Beloved’s co-workers stopped by the other day.  I had ever met this man before.  I happened to be at home when he stopped by to get few documents from Beloved.

Because I wasn’t going anywhere and we weren’t expecting anyone, I didn’t bother with covering up my stunning butterfly rash.  It was a sight to behold, in all of its glowing rashness.

Naturally, after being home for a few hours already and no one stopping by the house, I sort of forgot about my appearance.  I know, hard to believe, but I can actually forget what it looks like.  So naturally I was the one who was closest to the door when the bell rang.

Of course I answered the door in all my lupus glory. I mean I radiated all the stunning side effects of lupus.  Swollen joints, rash.  My hair looked so bad I almost thought had mange.  Oh and I was sporting some lovely deep purplish red bruises on my arms and neck.  He bruises are a side effect of my medication.

Now that I’ve painted this beautiful image for you, perhaps dear readers you will understand why this poor, unsuspecting individual recoiled led in horror as I greeted home with a “yes”.   Not his fault.  He wasn’t warned there was the making of a horror story behind that door.

After he struggled to regain his composure he asked for Beloved.  I invited him into the house while I went to find Beloved, but this man was smart.  He opted to wait outside least he should catch whatever fresh hell had infected me.

Beloved and this co-worker chatted, finally inside.  Documents were retrieved and shared and this man apologized for his reaction which he said he hoped did not cause that much discomfort to me.

The fact is when you have a disease such as this, or a terminal one, you create dis-ease or discomfort for healthy people.  We reminded that  bad things can happen in the blink of an eye.  That life is fleeting.  No one knows what to really do with us, or what to say.  And for some reason I feel guilty for causing this man distress.  When in fact it is just a fact of life and we should all be able to meet each in the middle.


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