I was looking at the flowers in the garden today and realized they are “safe” flowers. They are flowers that I know do well and don’t mind if I don’t get around to watering them. They tolerate my neglect at times just as they tolerate my attention at other times. These flowers have proven over the years that they will do what flowers do regardless of my attempts to nurture them.
I enjoy the brilliant pops of color these flowers bring to my garden. I also enjoy the way the different perfumes mix and mingle as I make my way through the garden. But at the end of the day the reality is these are the same types of flowers I use each year.
I’ve wanted to add other flowers to the garden, something a little more daring. But I know that not all flowers will tolerate the area I live in, just as they wont all tolerate my moments of attention and inattention. So I have played it safe, dreamed about bringing them into my garden, but nothing more. I don’t actually want to be responsible for the death of innocent flowers and plants!
I’ve mentioned my wishes to a few people, including my specialist and each has suggested I try at least one new flower or plant. As my specialist said, “most of what medicine has discovered is through trial and error”. He suggested that I look at new plants or flowers a little like a “clinical trial”. My specialist is helpful that way!
The truth is I let my need to be in control, due to the uncontrollable nature of lupus, creep into my garden. I can, however, view my garden as a place of healing and nurturing my health. And I can use my experience with lupus to see what the next option is to try, to see what we can add to the garden with e highest possibility of success.