Neo, Nemo, Dory And I

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a memory like Neo from “The Matrix”? Basically you could download whatever you’d need to know and it’s there for you to grab when you need it. I’m not really sure if there is a cap to the capacities or the storage space that would be required if we were to download everything we could ever possibly need, but hey it would certainly make things like studying for exams a whole lot different.

Some people swear by online games designed to work the pathways of the brain. People claim that they have seen a huge change in their ability to recall things since working with these “games”. How much of that is psychosomatic is yet to be determined, but there is something to be said about the power of belief. If you believe by playing these games you will sharpen or hone your memory skill than surely that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, a subconscious shift of effort dedicated to a desired outcome if you will.

Sure I could use a bit of refreshing on some memorization skills. Heck I have probably forgotten far more than I even realize through the simple process of deciding I no longer need to know things. I can accept this. What I struggle to accept is having a memory less like Neo and more like a character from “Finding Nemo”, namely Dory! 😊

I don’t have anything against Dory, and she certainly was a good friend to Nemo, but I honestly am worried about not being able to remember anything. Rather not being able to move things from my short-term memory to my longer term memory for recall later on I should say. I guess we all fear losing memories about who we are, what we enjoy and suchlike. But when you have a condition like lupus, one that can cause cognitive issues and you tend to make your living using memory and such, it becomes scary on a whole new level.

I find myself struggling to recognize if lupus is impacting my cognitive skills or if the haze I sometimes must stumble through is a side-effect of my medication. I confess of all the things that lupus has changed in my life, this whole potential to mess with my mind and memory is what I cannot on any level accept. Okay so technically, technically it isn’t going to care whether or not I accept the changes, but you catch my drift. A well-meaning specialist who told me that as we get older we have so much going on at once that we struggle sometimes to find the right word/thought/concept in a moment of pressure, and therefore I shouldn’t worry about what is a natural state. But if I don’t worry when I’m not seeing the results I want, will I forget to worry further down the road? Will I miss the signs that should cause me to worry? Perhaps, just perhaps, Dory was on to something after all, provided you aren’t preparing for a test or such.

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