Hey Watch This Or Maybe Not

Growing up, anytime someone said “hey watch this”, you knew it wouldn’t be pretty. The smart kids never said “hey watch this”, they simply did whatever this was after they had taken into account all the ways things could go wrong. You never heard the shy or quiet kids seek out an audience with those famous words. It was the brave, the ones who may not have thought it all the way through and those who were fearless who used those words. And most times, it ended badly. Scrapped knees, broken bones and such or something else bad happened.

Having that kind of experience to draw from, I was more than a little taken aback when my specialist announced those very words during my last visit. He was reviewing the latest set of reports from the vampire lab so he could compare them to earlier ones. Now I wasn’t sure if he was going to end up with a paper cut or just paper all throughout the room, but just as I had when I was a child, I sat back and waited to see what would happen. He was putting up results, making sure he lined each graph up against the next until he had gone across the entire wall. (That was probably a month worth of results.)

When he had them all taped up on the wall he stepped back to where I was and asked what I saw. I wanted to say paper on the wall, and I suspect he knew that because he asked me to view all those graphs together and tell him what I saw. When I didn’t respond he went back to the graphs, took a pen and traced the line that went all the way across the wall. He also said “Whee!” a few times as his finger traced sudden downward curves. And he ended it by running smack into the cabinet in the corner.

He told me he saw a roller coaster and he wanted me to see that lupus can be, well, complicated the way designing a roller coaster is. I don’t think he meant to run into the cabinet, but that too is part of having a chronic illness isn’t’ it? Those sudden obstacles that trip you up or knock you flat on your back. I had to hide the smile that crossed my face as once again the proof in those words was a less than graceful ending.

I guess in a way he found some fun in my chronic illness and I found some amusement in his ability to prove that no matter how old you get, those words normally result in a bad ending for the person who uttered them.

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