Behind Any Great Shelf or The Horror In My Pantry

I am, evidently, deathly afraid of my pantry.  Not in terms of being afraid of walking past the pantry, I can do tha fairly easily.  Entering, however, is a whole other story.  You see somewhere in the back wall of the pantry lives a monster.  A monster who likes to push cans off the shelves and onto my toes.  A monster who uses onions for bowling balls. But my pantry monster is not only capable of pushing items off the shelves and onto my unprotected and unsuspecting toes.  Oh no, that’s too easy.

This monster is capable of making things reproduce.  Or perhaps the monster sneaks out now and then and acquires items to bring back into my pantry.  He hides his prizes in and amongst the other items already in the pantry, creating the perfect balance of tumbling cans and such. At least that’s what I’d like to believe.

The truth is far less fun and fantastical.  The truth is, sometimes I forget what’s already in the pantry and go out and buy another package of something.  Then there are the times I don’t go out and buy items, but rather Beloved does the shopping and sometimes he buys stuff we already have.  And so the shelves have doubles and triples of some things and odds of others that we had the intention to use, but then lost the motivation, or in my case lost the energy.  So they sit there, waiting on the overfilled shelves.  Waiting for the perfect moment to land on an unsuspecting foot, or perhaps to be used. But I’d like to think  that there is a somewhat helpful and mischievous monster hiding behind the shelf, because that’s just more fun!


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