I was told to always have back-up plan. You know, an alternative Plan B in case you star, Plan A, failed to come to fruition. Life, I was assured, would rarely give me everything I ever wanted when I wanted it so it was better to have a few options that I could work with. Basically the Plan B becomes a compromise, one that I could live with, but it wouldn’t be my dream or ideal plan. It wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen, but it wouldn’t be the feeling of winning the big lottery either.
My parents called it being prepared by providing myself with alternatives rather than sticking to something that might never happen. And so over the course of my life I’ve had many Plan As and Plan Bs as well as some Plan Cs and Ds for various things. And I’ve learned that you can plan all you want, but it doesn’t mean that any of them will become the eventual reality. Because sometimes things do not go according to any of our plans.
Having a chronic illness was certainly not in any of my plans, and no I did not have a back-up plan just in case I didn’t get one chronic illness. I didn’t want one, I certainly never asked to have a chronic illness, but there is it nonetheless. And the thing with a chronic illness like mine is that you learn you have to roll with the punches. You enjoy and treasure the days when things are good, and you know that in the bad times there will be a light at the end of that dark tunnel. You just don’t know how long that tunnel is that you have to travel to get to the light when you start into it.
You learn to make a variety of plans in case something goes different from what you expected and you learn that even then you just have to take what you are given and get creative with it. You also learn that it can be exhausting trying to plan for every little thing and every little change to those things. So you learn to focus on what matters and set your plans around those things.
And you learn to have a sense of humor with it all because if you don’t have that, it can be more tunnels and less light. So you see I had planned to clean the house, honestly. Plan A was to have a fully clean house. Plan B was to clean the main areas that people would likely encounter (meaning you can shove stuff under the bed or just close the bedroom door). Plan C was to get the floor vacuumed. But now I’ve come to accept that today is the day of dust bunnies. They are free range dust bunnies in the house today, with the four-footed one chasing them if she sees them.
But coming soon to the dust bunnies near me is a vacuum!