Because You Were Told Not To…

It’s human nature, the experts say, to want that which we cannot have. Tell someone that they cannot touch something and they will be compelled to do exactly that. Let a person know they can’t move for a period of time and suddenly the person develops an uncontrollable twitch. It is, after all , our nature.

Perhaps that is why it isn’t uncommon to hear about coworkers stealing other coworkers’ lunches out of the staff room. No matter the business, the location, the profession this seems to be a thing. Maybe the other person’s lunch looked better than yours or perhaps you forgot your lunch. The reason doesn’t matter as much as the action. Because that action means someone is going to be without lunch.

It appears that a lunch thief has recently appeared in Beloved’s place of employment. After the Head of Human Resources had his lunch stolen for the eighth time, he decided it had become a matter that falls under the Human Resources jurisdiction. To this end memos were written, policies developed and procedures set in place. Stealing another person’s lunch is strictly forbidden. To show that Human Resources means business, if you are caught stealing someone’s lunch you will be suspended for one day without pay and have to take a half day training course upon your return to the workplace. (No word on what the half day training course is about, maybe how to be a better thief. Or perhaps how to make your own lunch.)

On the ninth day, the day after all of the documentation had been delivered, the Human Resources Head went down to the lunchroom sure his lunch would be safe. And of course it wasn’t because they had never caught the person taking his lunch in the first place. So cameras were set up to see if a person could be identified.

On the fourteenth day, by this time the Head had started bringing a “backup lunch” just in case someone was going to steal his “A lunch”, a typed note was placed where the lunch once sat. The note was a request, just a small request, for the Head to buy a different brand of yogurt.

To this day the lunch thief is still at large, the Head has taken to bringing a lunch he can leave in his office and the rest of the employees have had a good laugh at the whole thing. But the truth is, when you happen to be the one who it happens to, it probably isn’t’ all that funny. Although even the Head now admits he may have gone overboard with things, and thus has had the cameras removed.


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