You can do anything for five days, someone once told me. You can a mange anything for ten days the same person told me. And yes I can do most things for five days, but is five days enough time to truly make a change? What about ten days? Is that enough time to make a lasting change?
A different person told me that if you are trying to change something it takes a minimum of thirty days.
Still another person told me that if you really want to make a change it is simple and can be done overnight. The key, this person told me, is knowing why you want to change. Provided that it’s for yourself, anything is possible.
But what about when you want to change something that is beyond your control? The only thing you can realistically change is your response to that what isn’t how you want it. Which again is not always the easiest thing to do. And when it comes to wanting someone else to change, well that’s just waiting for a huge fight isn’t it?
I know there are things done Beloved wishes would change about me. Just as there are things I wish were different with him. But asking someone to change just because I want him to, because it fits my ideals more, is not only silly, but down right wrong. I’ve no right to ask for these changes. So we compromise on most things. But we now have hit an area we cannot ignore any longer.
First let me say this, I adore my four-footed companions. I just don’t adore sharing my bed with them. As in they are in bed sleeping now it has else. Their furry heads on my clean pillow. Their sandy feet in my clean sheets. Beloved sees nothing wrong with this. He doesn’t mind and can’t understand how I’m okay with them sleeping on the foot the of the bed, but nothing higher.
So when the four-food wonders are with me alone, they sleep on the foot of the bed and when they are alone with Beloved, they sleep in bed. Clearly this isn’t fair to them. And we haven’t worked out how to compromise on this. So whether its five days, ten days, thirty days or overnight, I don’t see the change happening yet. Because we aren’t sure what to change. Crazy yes?