In Flight or Bedlam From Broomsticks

There is something marvelous about flight, at least to me there is. I’ve always wanted to fly. So I took lessons. On a broomstick. I mean it’s part of the witches code right? But broomsticks leave you open to the elements, which is a serious downside to flying.

Clouds are cold and wet. Winds are always colder the higher you go, and somehow seem to have no respect for a girl on her broomstick. And have you seen the size of the bugs, er birds, we encounter? Yep try getting hit with one of those! Not the same as a bug stuck in your teeth on a motorcycle, let me tell you. 🙂

Landings are no fun either. There is all that turbulence as you get closer to the surface, not to mention all those things to hit when you try to avoid hitting other things and still land gracefully. No there are not emergency landing procedures on a broomstick. Your seat cushion will not act as a flotation device, no matter how much you think it will, or should. There isn’t a place for the oxygen masks to fall down from for you are stuck sucking whatever quality of air there is where you happen to be flying.

Once you land you have to deal with, well, flight hair. Or hat hair. And stow your broomstick somewhere. Keep in mind you will be traveling light with your broomstick. There simply is no storage space for luggage and what have you.

Okay so I don’t actually fly on a broomstick, but I have always been fascinated with flying. I love the freedom you get in a small plane. The way you simply become one with the wind. Provided the wind will let you become one with it. And I’ve always dreamed of flying lessons, but always stopped short due to science.

Yes science got in the way of me enjoying flight lessons. You see planes are heavy. Air is light. Yet planes fly through the air. Okay so there is science involved with that and we can all accept that science has found a way to deal with things like heavy metal objects flying in air and not falling down. Here’s the other thing with the flying bit that stopped me from enjoying flight lessons. There is no softeners on a plane, in the event you have an accident. Cars have bumpers which are supposed to cushion the impact. Planes? Not so much. Besides what would a bumper on a plane look like if the thing you were going to potentially hit was say a mountain? And then there is the water issue. Planes are heavier than water. In the event of a water landing there is no science to keep the plane floating in the water. What was up, must go down. Down into the watery depths. And I’m not okay with that. My plane would have to have water wings.

It’s these types of thoughts that prevent me from enjoying flight lessons, yet do not get in the way of me enjoying being in a plane, as a passenger. Because then, see, if there is a oopsy-daisy it’s not anything to do with me. I’m a blissfully unaware passenger and the oppsy-daisy simply couldn’t be helped! 🙂

Maybe I should just grow wings… but then we get back to the whole limited luggage thing, the fact that I’m heavier than air, and all the rest of that…

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