Life, of course isn’t all butterflies flittering around roses with a rainbow as a backdrop. Long before the butterflies are even butterflies they are caterpillars, hiding from birds and destroying green leaves on the roses. When winter comes, the roses are gone, into a form of hibernating, no blooms and no leaves. Just the wood and sticks of the rose bush itself while the life waits for spring to come and renew everything with the spring rains.
But spring doesn’t always renew everything. The rains get held back, the wind is too strong, the temperature not warm enough. And on and on it goes. The rose bush and the caterpillar-soon-to-be-butterfly must wait upon spring to arrive and make do with what that looks like.
Beloved normally likes to hold things in a promise of the warm spring breeze, the joy of the sunshine and ocean breezes of summer and the crisp, brisk and clean winds of autumn. He does not enjoy winter in any of its forms. To him winter is a waiting period, waiting for good things and times to come back.
Winter is the long, dark and lonely times that make him yearn for butterflies, roses and rainbows. He can look at a calendar to get an idea of when the weather will shift. He can look at the weather reports to get a better idea in which to pin his hopes upon.
But when winter is your life, the winter of your life in one of its many forms, it isn’t as easy to do. Certainly as we get older and head into the inevitable ending point of life we try to hold the warmth and light closer to us. That’s completely understandable. But when we are still young and do not understand that winter can come to us as well, it is somehow that much colder and dark.
And today winter visited upon Beloved’s heart with news whispered on a cold, piercing wind. It came on the words whispered from a close friend, announcing he had terminal cancer. Winter is fast approaching, less than three months and there is no way to be prepared for this kind of cold. There is nothing to do other than be there for the person, and in turn hold onto the good memories and make those days as warm as the spring and summer if possible. There is nothing to do other than make sure that the views are full of brilliant shades of color and offer comfort where possible.
Beloved is not ready, no one ever really is, to handle another winter. Not that it matters, winter will come as he pleases. You can’t fully avoid winter, try as you might.