My So Called Fairytale Life

Once upon a time there was a princess who lived, quite naturally in a castle. The castle was, of course, located in a beautiful setting where there was never any “bad” weather or fearsome animals. The princess wasn’t lonely, not exactly, but she sensed something was missing from her life, that is when she was awake. You see not only was the princess trapped in the castle, but she had been poisoned with a sleeping potion that left her much like a narcoleptic.

At the same time, in a distance land, a prince had come back from a quest just as he had many times before. Only this time he came back feeling as though something was missing. Perhaps questing was becoming too routine, which would never do. So he sought the advice of a wise-man who was also the keeper of secret knowledge. The wise-man told the prince that he needed a more challenging quest, as he had mastered slaying dragons and finding lost treasure.

The wise-man, after a few drinks, pulled out his magical sphere to consult with the All Knowing One to find out what the prince needed to do next. The All Knowing One told the wise-man that the prince had to rescue a princess of course. Once he rescued a princess the prince would be complete and much happily ever after would ensue.

So the wise-man consulted with woodland friends to learn about princesses in need of rescuing. He heard of a princess who lived in a beautiful land far far away. This princess was trapped in a lovely castle with no way to get out on her own. She, the wise-man discovered, was who the prince needed to rescue.

So a GoFundMe page was set up to help finance the prince’s latest quest (the celebration from the last quest had resulted in the found treasure being lost again…to bill collectors this time) and when the amount was reached the prince set off to rescue the trapped princess. Along the way there were many obstacles, such as construction, one-way paths and a spotty magical positioning system. But the prince would not be deterred from his quest.

Meanwhile back at the castle the trapped princess awoke again, and once more started to search for a way out. As she sat down wearily on the floor to see if there was any trapped door the potion took hold once more.

By the time the prince overcame all the obstacles and arrived at the castle, the princess had managed to fight off the potion, which had clearly been placed in her tea and now that she had finished all the tea and it was no longer in her system she was wide awake. The princess was able to shout down to the prince that the door was stuck in the jamb and she couldn’t get out.

After a few shows of strength and a million uttered unpleasant words, the prince was able to get the door unstuck and rescue the princess.

And…well that story is the same as mine, minus all the sleeping and the whole castle thing. Well unless you accept that a person’s house is his/her castle. And the prince didn’t consult a wise-man. Okay so the doors have needed fixing for a while and today the decided to get stuck while I was in the house. Beloved had to come and force the doors open and the happily ever after? We are getting new doors! 🙂

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