Today I called a female a wench. I know, not like me, but it was in a moment of distress. Sort of. Well okay distress in a minor sense. As in not really distress except that despite planning and careful purchasing it still happened. So distressing for me and startling for my friend who thought the “would you leave me alone wench” was directed at her.
You see friends I had planned to avoid the mosquitos this year. I had all the latest gadgets and felt calm and sure that they would be incredibly by all my stuff. I was wearing a battery-powered mosquito repellant so as not to have to wear the unpleasant but spray. I had even rubbed myself with a citronella lotion. And still friends the wench of a mosquito got me.
So I killed her because clearly my request for her to leave me alone went I headed. So she simply had to die. And then I brought out the heavy stuff, the smoking coils and peat. These things work like a charm to keep the biting blood suckers at bay, but there is a price to pay that I had been hoping to avoid. You see the smoke irritates my eyes.
If it were at all possible I’d kill the mosquito wench again, but it’s a bit hard to do. Not just because I can’t kill that which is already dead, but my eyes keep tearing up making it hard to see things like mosquito wenches. So instead I headed indoors. To plan my next approach, because I refuse to be out smarted by mosquito wenches. Although I suspect I may have already lost this one…