Big Purple Wall Called Lupus

I hit a wall today.  A large, brick, solid wall.  A wall I could see well before I hit it.  You’d think I would have stopped, or slowed down and turned or something, but nope.  I hit the wall, going full speed.

Friends, I didn’t even blink when I hit this wall.  Granted there was no need to blink,after all I did see it coming long before I got there.  Thankfully the only damage was a forced nap, at least that’s the only damage I’ve been able to determine so far.

Clearly this hitting of the wall is my own fault,many equally clear is the fact I keep hitting the wall.  Repeat performance folks, repeat performance.  Yep a slow learner, stubborn or something else.  No matter how you describe it, it comes down to being foolish.

I guess I had assumed that if I burnt my candle at both ends and in the middle (metaphorically because who does that to candles in real life?) I’d be able to be a super lupus warrior and somehow make the lupus rules not apply.  And that wall, that big purple wall called lupus said no way, that’s not how we play.

Id never assume nor ask another lupus patient to keep hitting the wall, so why do I think  that doing this makes me a super heroe?  Especially since every day we live with lupus is a heroic thing.

Some days, getting out of bed should be awarded with a cape and some awesome symbol. Some days getting out of bed s easy.  Some days finding positive is worthy a super peer and other days it’s easier to do.

The obstacles and opportunities that come with lupus may not afford you an awesome cape, or an amazing symbol, but it does give you a super power…the power to keep trying, the power of determination.  There really is no need to hit a wall, and certainly not repeatedly.  So don’t be like me and think that’s how you find your super power!  Now about that nap…


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