When It’s Your Chronic Illness, or Curiousity Of Affects On The Well

I often wonder about the people in my life who care about me.  My parents kept their feelings pretty much to themselves when  shared my lupus diagnosis with them.  I do know my father had a few sleepless nights worrying about this unknown thing now in his daughter’s life.  My mother suddenly started reading everything she could about the illness.

Some friends were also immersing themselves in literature.  A few attended awareness sessions and others decided to just carry on with life as normal.  And I’ve been grateful for everything that everyone has done, said or been here for me.  It’s been amazing.

But I worry about how my illness has impacted them, how it’s affected them.  Beloved once told me that the hardest thing for him was knowing he couldn’t do a thing for me and he couldn’t even fully understand what I go through when lupus is flaring.

My second mom has never told me how this impacts her, but I’ve seen things in her eyes that  wish I didn’t see.  I’ve caught hesitation in my friends.  Reluctance at times.

The truth is when you have a chronic illness, unless you happen to be a hermit or live on a deserted island, your illness isn’t just impacting you.  It affects friends, family, and to some degree coworkers.

Have any of you reached out to those who do not have the illness, but rather care for someone who does?  What do we do for these amazing people?


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