Sharing is good, at least that’s what we tell children. I guess it’s what we tell ourselves as well. And perhaps there is a time and a place to share. It can make life easier for some.
But there are some things I just don’t want to share, such as the bed. I mean I do share my bed, but frankly there is a guilty luxury to having the bed all to myself. I also confess to not wanting to share favourite meals etc.
Having been through a few relationships, and maybe because I do have a sharing problem, I dislike sharing finances. To me that’s just messy. Well joint accounts that all monies go into or out of is messy. Especially when you consider that the two parties in a relationship may not have the same incomes.
When a friend was commenting on how tangled her finances are with her spouse, and I told her I’ve avoided that issue. Sure Beloved and I have our own accounts, and then there was a “joint” account where we each out equal more into for commonly held expenses, debts and costs. This seemed completely abnormal and shocking to my friend. She claimed that it’s a sign of distrust.
I can’t say s process is one of distrust, or lack of commitment so much as just a neat and tidy way to not tangle everything up. I guess n the back of my mind I may have considered that our relationship may fall apart, but it wasn’t an active thought.
In my experience after the whole broken heart and fragile emotion thing that happens when relationships no longer work, there is incredible stress around finances. It can be hard to remember who put what into the account or who took what out. And from what I’ve learned when money has to be divided things can become hard and ugly. I figure our way is a bit simpler.
Since love requires that we let people one, which means hearts can be broken, and there doesn’t seem to be a way around that, I chose to protect finances. Beloved, when I explained my approach was in full agreement. As he put it, why complicate things when you don’t have to? Perhaps he too had concerns about how the future would turn out! 😉
So I will share my heart, my dreams, my fears and my deepest desires, but not my money!