the nurse who was doing my IV was one I had never seen before. She was young and seemed a bit uncomfortable. Not that I blame her in the least, my veins aren’t the most cooperative when it comes to needles.
My regular nurse, Kathy, calmly stepped in, handed me the bottle she always hands me to hold rather than just creating a fist and viola the needle was in. She says the bottle is way to help keep her “ladies nails nice”. As far as she is concerned anyone who has to put toxic medicine in their body to maintain health should be allowed to keep something nice, be it their nails or hair.
IV treatment is never really my idea of a good time, but it is needed. To make it more enjoyable I may take a book to read, read off an ere adder or do some work. Sometimes, if someone new is sitting near me and I tell this poor person is nervous or anxious I will talk with them to help put them at ease and make the time pass by for them. I remember my first time ever with IV treatment and I wouldn’t want anyone to feel as alone as I did in that moment.
It wasn’t the IV that made me feel isolated, it was the reality that I was getting something that was toxic. Something like chemo. And it made me realize that I was somehow different than I had been before I felt the medication slip into my system. I chose to go alone, it was mine to handle on my own. It was now something that only others who had already been down this road would understand.
That of course is a coping mechanism. Sure none of my friends at that time had lupus or any other scary chronic illness. But did that really make me so different from the Main? Did it mean they couldn’t understand? Of course not. It just took time to realize it.
I also realized that I could actually talk to the people near me during treatment if they wanted to talk. And that sometimes talking helps ease the thoughts that run through your mind. The monsters your mind can create that don’t really exist.
I struggle with new nurses and not just because of my horrible veins. You see I want to put them at ease, but I’m afraid talking to them may put them off of what they are focusing on, but once Kathy took over, I turned to the new nurse and asked her how she was doing. After that it was smooth sailing.
To be honest I had some wonderful conversation with my seat mates and the nurses. Time went by pleasantly and now I’m back home with a nice warm blanket and a comfortable chair to relax.