I managed two whole minutes friends, two whole minutes of calm today. I’ve no clue how I did it, and to be honest, no real clue how it feels any different from my normal state of mind. However, in spite of all of that, according to my mind and body tracking device I’ve managed to achieve two whole minutes of calm!
This is beginning to feel a bit like we should have a parade, maybe of the ticker tape variety because no one has those any more. I’m sure a ticker tape parade is just the thing to induce more calm. There should, of course, also be balloons and all sorts of lovely items to snack on. Yep I think that those are just thing!
But it was only two minutes, and since I can’t really tell the difference, perhaps we should wait and hold off on the parade for a bit. Maybe when I achieve a full five minutes, maybe then we should have a parade. It could be a world-wide parade even!
My meditation and relaxation coach was surprised when I emailed the results. To be honest my coach and I both had about given up on this process. I had decided I was destined to be in the place of limbo, never exactly reaching peace or calm, but never being much in the state of tension either. And then the alarm went off to advise me I had hit a cycle of calm.
Because nothing says maintaining calm like a buzz followed by an alarm! 🙂 At which point I was jolted out of my state of calm and back into the state of normal being for myself.
My coach asked me what I noticed that was different when I was in a state of calm. She asked if perhaps I had started doing things differently, changed how I thought, perhaps changed where I spent my time. To each of her questions, I could confidently answer nothing. I had changed nothing and noticed nothing was different. Not one thing.
I had wanted it to be different, expected that calm would have this sense of serenity (which I’ve read about and heard about from others). I thought I would know that I had reached calm. Instead it snuck up on me, catching me unaware and then running away before I could truly observe the different between it and my usual state.
“Try deep breathing, cleansing breathes,” my coach suggested. There was a hint of desperation to her voice, as though she was afraid it would run away forever and never came anywhere in my vicinity again. So I tried these techniques, all to no avail. Before giving into my regularly scheduled life.
Who sets an alarm to let someone know they have reached calm? What sort of person does this? (Okay don’t answer that because there is a part of me that would no doubt do that to Beloved if given the chance!)
Have we made progress? Has the world tilted, the universe shifted and time come to a standstill? Nope. And no ticker tape parade has happened either, because how do I know what the device is telling me is real? My mind has decided that more than likely the device messed up or is messing with me!