Of Cows, Wind, Fish, and Dogs

Where I grew up it wasn’t uncommon to see cows passing by in the air if the conditions were favorable. Okay so you really didn’t’ see them passing by unless your bathtub happened to have been picked up in the same swirl of the tornado. If you managed to get into a storm shelter, well those had no windows for a reason and frankly seeing a cow flying while you were in a shelter dug into the earth meant you were on the good stuff and should share it. Why keep flying cows all to yourself?!

Where Beloved grew up, they don’t have flying cows. Ever. They do however having flying water. Lots of it, in a variety of travel directions and origins. Let’s just say that there are times the wee bit of damp decides it can fly too. I’m not a fan of this.

I’m always just a wee bit worried that with this flying water there will be a bit of ocean life or river life in it. Now I have heard of flying fish, I’ve even seen the odd one, but they are designed for a purpose. I have images of a whale getting caught up in a huge wind gust that has pushed the sea water to my door and there is this whale peering into my house. Worse would be if it was flying over head. I mean whales are heavy. Gravity makes everything seem a bit more heavy. The attraction of a nice roof to land on and flatten is surely too much for a whale to pass on while its making it’s mid-flight decisions. Then again, the poor whale may be wondering what the heck is happening!

When they said we were getting some gusts of wind I was ready. I’ve been through gusts of wind. I’ve been through tornadoes and hurricanes. I figured I was good. Since these were just supposed to be gusts, I was positive it would be nothing more than a few broken branches here and there. Not that I’d see it because the two four-footed ones insist that I spend my storm time with them. In the closet. Way at the back. Now a word here about the back of the closet with two dogs that happen to be afraid…it’s not a pretty sight. Nor is it all that comfortable. And one of the poor dogs has a bit of a problem. When he gets scared we all know. We can smell it, for miles. Imagine being trapped in a small, dark closet with two dogs, both panting out waves of doggie breath and one also releasing gas every two to three seconds. Lovely isn’t it?

But maybe, I reasoned, since it was only gusts, I could sit outside the closet. Just outside, where they knew I was still there. They could see me, even touch me. But I’d be a bit out of the doggie perfume! The dogs had different ideas. Ideas that included the back of the closet and creating a puppy pile of sorts, using me as something to both be on and have over the. And I say I can’t do yoga! 🙂

So the gusts came, gusted and left and I figured a few broken branches, the odd knocked over pot and all the leaves blown out of our garden would greet me. Certainly no whale would be caught up in a mere gust. And yet when I emerged from my time with the dogs that’s not what greeted me at all.

At first I thought I may have inhaled too many fumes and was hallucinating. Surely that could explain what I was seeing. But after several deep breaths of fresh air, the view did not change. And what I was looking at was astonishing, at least to me. Keep in mind that I’m a city kid; one that likes things to be in their proper places. A fish, one I had never seen before was on my patio, just sort of flopping around amid some branches and puddles. There was a fish on the fence too. My neighbor had some fish and a few bricks in her yard. Neither of us have ponds. But we now have fish. I have no clue where they came from or even what to do with them. I mean there are puddles for them right now, but I don’t’ know if the puddles have the right kind of water for them. I don’t’ know if the puddles are deep enough either. I’m pretty sure this is all because I was moaning about having to go into the closet with the dogs. Nature’s way of making my fear of flying whales a little more close to reality.

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