Meditating on Meditation or Where Is My Inner Calm When The Zen Zoomed Away

According to my mind and body tracker I can focus without any problem.  This isn’t really a surprise to me though.  What is a surprising, but not in a good way is that I struggle reach calm, relaxation or peace.  I’ve managed a whopping two bouts, each under five minutes, of almost calm and peace.

on the plus side, tension also doesn’t seem to be an issue with me.  Who knew that tension and i aren’t best of friends?  In my experience things tend to be tension or relaxation and yet I hover in this grey area.  Neither tense nor relax…just simply there I guess.

I’ve also tried the guided meditation exercises that came with this wee little device, all to no avail.  Actually they make me less on the calm side, but not true tension either.  Beloved has chalked this up to my most contrary nature! 😉  Umm yay me?!

The thing is, if I really didn’t need to pass this one course, all about guided meditation, I’d probably not even care.  And of course if I didn’t care I might actually be closer to doing it.  Yep that’s what I thought!

The truth is, I have even tried to convince myself that it doesn’t matter, but my mind knows better.  And so it says this meditation deal should be easy.  And it just can’t stop thinking about other things and focusing on problems of the universe.  Perhaps my mind is afraid of just letting go.  After all it is the unknown for myself and I always am a bit more hesitant to dive into an unknown that doesn’t include a fun landing!

At any rate that’s my story.  And the score, for those of you who are wondering…guided meditation exercises 4, me successfully completing an exercise 0.

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