I can’t explain exactly why I ended up in a bridal store. I mean I have no desire to get married and Beloved concurs that neither of us requires paper or signatures to validate our relationship status. And yet I still found myself in a bridal store.
Not just in the store mind you. Oh no I had more than just stepped in, I mean there was an opening of the door, walking through the door and then walking over to a specific area. As in looking at dresses in. Looking at expensive dresses I have no need for to be exact.
I’m not sure what had caught my eye when I was walking by the store, but something had drawn me in. Prior to this visit I hadn’t been in one of these stores in a rather long time. I felt exceedingly out of my element and more so when the salesperson asked me if I had an appointment or wanted to make one. Think oil and water out of your element to get the feeling. I politely declined after taking a bit more of a glance at the dresses and headed out.
Beloved doesn’t believe in coincidence, and since it’s not a street I would normally walk, he felt there was a reason for me to be there. perhaps a chance to examine why I’m so set against marriage, but I know why. I have tried it, it isn’t for me. I also bristle at the idea of needing permission or approval to spend my life with Beloved. To me this is just silly.
I’m sure if I did change my mind Beloved would be rather willing to get married. But he has his own string of previous attempts behind him and while he has never said the institution isn’t for him, he has said he isn’t sure what is the secret to making it work out. Not that he is against trying again, but he is against the whole big ceremony deal that happens with most weddings. He thinks if he were to do it again he’d want something small and simple. And none of this ritual habits that are done only for the day. Nope he wants an-every-day kind of deal.
I’m beginning to wonder if I shouldn’t have made an appointment, grabbed a few friends and tried on the dresses, just for a laugh. But that would be wrong given the salesperson is probably on commission and doesn’t want to hear us laughing at how I look like a stuffed sausage or what have you.
Maybe when he becomes a senior citizen I will agree to a small ceremony. That’s only a maybe because I, not that committed, to the ceremony that is. I am committed to him and seeing where this journey takes us! To me that’s better than a dress, a ring or all the other trappings!