I’m Scared

They say one of the best ways to deal with your fears is to face them.  To this end people have let spiders crawl on them, sat in rooms full of spiders or other insects/animals that the person is afraid of.  Som people have jumped out of airplanes and others have forced themselves into things like Toast Masters.

If you are a somewhat regular reader of this blog, you know my strong dislike for spiders.  I’m not sure if I’m afraid of them because I really don’t like them.  I know I’ve slept in a room where I had seen a spider, once. I know there are far more I can’t see so I probably sleep with spiders on a regular basis.  I’m positive I’ve eaten or swallowed an unfortunate spider at least once in my life.  So I dont think I need to let them crawl all over me, or sit in a room full of them.  I’m okay letting them do spider stuff and me do my stuff provided they keep their space away from mine.

Live jumped out of airplanes, with a parachute and person with me.  Just for the thrill of it.  I enjoyed it, we’ll all of it other than the landing.  The landing wasn’t enjoyable because ground is hard.  I’m not hard, I’m soft so hitting hard ground was not so much fun.

i don’t mind speaking, heck it’s how I pay some bills.  So I’m not overly afraid of that, although like any person I have insecurities around judgements and such.  I try to ignore them, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.  Most times it is because my speaking isn’t as good as I want it to be.

I have silly fears.  Fears like moths.  I know they can’t hurt me, I’m not wool so they won’t eat me, but I’m scared of them, same with butterflies, crickets, grasshoppers and such.  I’m scared to death of cockroaches, but a lot of people are I guess.  I’m not about to let any of those bugs sleep with me, or crawl in me and I’m most certainly not willingly going to eat one either.

I’m afraid of sharks.  Mostly because in the water I’m sure I look like easy prey.  A seal of sorts, that can’t swim as good as seals swim.  I can’t imagine what it would be like if a shark decided to “taste me” because let’s face it, they have big mouths filled with sharp and pointed teeth.

Face a shark?  No thanks, I can keep that fear.  Sure ive seen sharks, touched on once, in a special aquarium.  But hop into the water, the open water with sharks?  Hungry sharks?  No thanks!

I have a massive fear that when I die (I’m not afraid of being dead, worried a bit about the actual method/pain level) I will leave behind a horribly messy house for some poor soul to contend with.  All of my worldly possessions up for scrutiny and such.  What impressions and opinions will those make I wonder.

Of course I could get rid of the knickknacks now I guess and then the whole messy house, lots of stuff to sort out fear goes away or shrinks a bit.

I suppose I should be afraid of flying, because if there is an issue in the air, it normally doesn’t end well.  But I’m okay with flying, enjoy it for the most part.

Most of my fears are silly really.  Silly because when am I ever going to encounter a hungry Nile crocodile in North America? I guess to people who do not share our fears we seem funny to be afraid of what scares us.  But part of being human is to be scared.  And to learn from those fears and over come them.  It’s way to see just how strong we really are.




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