I have no idea what possessed me, but come to think of it, possess is the right word. I had plans, well and medical orders really, to just rest. My latest labs had come back indicating that lupus was being rather aggressive, again.
Since im such a horrible patient, and being things weren’t at that point yet, my doctor order that I rest. Thankfully it was coming up to where I didn’t have to worry about work for a few days.
So I planned to rest. Honest, I did. No, now come on, I’m serious. I thought how lovely it would be to lounge around, read some and just enjoy the time.
So I woke up to start my day of resting and looked at the bookshelf. There was something not right, some off the books were out of order. This would NOT do. So I thought if I just slowly and occasionally worked on getting the books in order it would be ok. But that’s not how it turned out.
I did set a timer so I wouldn’t work at it too long, but then I’d allow myself “just a few more books”. And then it became few more and then all of the books.
Truly I tell you friends from here, from is small innocent step I quickly slipped to sorting periodicals and even bookmakers. I was possessed with sorting out the shelves and I guess avoiding rest.
I hoped that eventually the lupus flare and the physical activity would guide me, force me even, to rest. The strange thing is, as hard as I had planned to rest, I was possessed with not resting. I couldn’t explain it. So my doctor allowed to see if the exhaustion would over take obsession, exorcise the possession if you will. Which it did, but clearly this isn’t the easy way to go about resting.