Sleep, Lupus and Me

When I was young, I hated going to bed.  Having to go to bed while the night was still going on without me seemed a cruel torture.  Sure I needed sleep, sure I needed rest, but still it all seemed so wrong especially since adults got to stay up and do all sorts of adventurous things.

As I got older I still fought this notion of sleep.  Oh sure I got enough, but it wasn’t an 8 hour sleep, more like 5.  I guess I became a bit of an expert at stretching out “just five more minutes,” into hours.

Some people will say his is insanity, that sleep is restorative and healing, especially if you have a chronic illness like lupus.  The is, if  it’s lupus you are exhausted all the time anyway, no energy no nothing.  I figure it’s kind of greater payback for me not taking sleep or rest so seriously before.

Now my body demands that I slow down, that I cease stretching those 5 minutes out so far.  And now I have other people, people who love me and care about me beyond my biological family, reminding me that I need to rest.

There is a part of me that still, even with the bone tired exhaustion of lupus, wants to push back, stay awake and not miss a thing, after all rest will come when im dead.  And a dear friend reminds me all the time that my death cannot happens or a long time, that there is need for me to be in this friend’s life. ☺️

So I am begging you to supply me with the titles of some good bedtime reading. In an efforts of help me not avoid rest so much!  I figure I will start like you do with a child, a bedtime story before it’s lights out.😉


2 thoughts on “Sleep, Lupus and Me

  1. Hmmm, the tiredness is such a pain!! I too often try to push through it and regret it next day. I love all things creative, so I always have something on the go, to sit and relax with when my body is screaming at me to rest. I hate sitting and doing nothing but the Lupus and Fibro have a mind of their own!! Books?? A great way to fall asleep if they are not too interesting! Take care . Sharon. Xx

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