Some Day

Some day I will actually accomplish the entire menu of the meal I wish to plan. I start out with the best of intentions, but seem to lack the follow through. In some cases it’s because lupus has fooled me into thinking I have more energy than I really do; or because lupus pulls the energy rug out from under me when I’m in the middle or cooking.

Some day I will sit down and read the entire newspaper, from front to back. I mean to do this now, but I always feel a strange need to rush and thus I skip sections.

Some day I will manage to walk the entire length of the trail. Currently I cannot even consider this because lupus is too active; because Beloved’s schedule, and even my own, is all over the place.

Some day I will serve a meal on e floor, the way I currently threaten to do. Sometimes lupus makes me clumsy, often times this happens when I’m cooking to share with friends. Without fail one of the dishes will end up on the floor when I’m attempting to transfer the food from the cooking vessel to the serving vessel. Now what I mean by serving the food on the floor is that I will set out comfortable cushions and a nice cloth and we will sit on the floor and feast there. It will be like an indoor picnic. It may become a bring-your-own life device though for those of us having issues getting back up! 😉

Some day I will take lead from the dog and spend a day pretty much resting and doing things in the moment. I will draw the line at sleeping on the floor , eating out of a dish on the floor and exploring the world with my mouth. (Evidently I have already explored the world with my mouth as a wee child.)

Some day I will master the art of being at peace with myself and lupus. Right now I see little glimpses of this in my life, but it’s fleeting and somewhat blurry.

Some day I will take care of Beloved entirely instead of him having to help out because I haven’t the strength, energy, or ability.

Some day I will be comfortable with where I am instead of rushing from one place to another new use the grass is greener or the sand looks whiter. One would think that by now I would be past this having to make sure I’m not missing out on something because I’m okay with where I am.

Some day I will master baking with yeast. I will conquer those tricky little beasties and make that braided bread. My failures with yeast are almost legendary at this point and this is not the type of legacy a person wants.

Some day I will embrace my off-key warbling because music is in the ear of the beholder. Currently I am far too embarrassed by my singing voice thanks to a girl in elementary school.

Some day I will master the grace of accepting compliments and people noticing my strengths. Right now I turn several shades of red and fade to a pink and mumble something rather inept.

Some day I will embrace my faults and weaknesses instead of cursing myself and beating myself up over every little mistake. I will remember that mistakes are just a means of learning and providing more interest for the journey of life.

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